I’m a member of more than a few writing lists, from discussion groups to daily inspiration. Recently I started getting email from a new list where the advice was incredibly generic and I didn’t remember opting in. Being signed up onto message lists without my consent is one of my pet peeves (and it happens way too often, and by people who really should know better.) So I designated that all further messages from the list would go directly into my trash bin. Usually this is the easiest way to deal with stuff like this as unsubscribes don’t always work and no one knows on my end, so no one gets all upset at me or anything either.

But a few days ago a new note from the same list pops up from a new email address and this time (besides the new address) it really pisses me off. It’s not an essay on writing, it’s an ad promising writers a way to reach thousands of readers–by paying the owners of the list to blast their bios to the writing list. On one hand it now makes sense why I suddenly seemed to be subscribed to this list, and why there was no unsubscribe, and why the article qualities were along the lines of those at Suite 101 and Associated Content. Clearly I’d had my address harvested and be forced onto this list so that some asshole out there could make money off unsuspecting writers at the expense of my inbox.

So I spammed all further messages from that address. Two days later I got the same ad from another address. The next day I was “introduced” to my first author through yet another address. Yesterday the spammer was back to the piss poor writing articles with yet another address.

Who does this shit? I mean, who pays for this kind of thing? This kind of PR is going to get you in spam boxes AT BEST. Yeah the publishing blacklist is mostly a fallacy, but spamming little old me to buy your book is not going to get you anywhere. Nowhere at all. I mean if you really want to just spend some money there are many better ways to do it. (Like sending me a copy of your book cold, which is still going to get you closer than spamming my email is going to.)

So please, please look at the PR people you’re thinking of paying. A LOT of them do things you can do yourself for free, like press releases and sending copies of your book out for reviews, and some even charge to make you a Facebook or Myspace page, which are both free. It’s not just the cheapskate in me begging, but come on, you should always be asking if this is a good thing to spend your money on, before you type in your credit card number.

So what’s the problem? It all comes down to why you did it. Let’s break it down.

Case 1: Atlanta Nights

Why: Did it to prove PublishAmerica accepts everything.

The Problem: We already knew that. I mean, yeah in a way it’s funny, and you called them on their crap, and it’s become a legend in the online writing world. But now everyone else wants to do it at the drop of the hat. Also, we already knew PublishAmerica was like that. It’s like the local cops witnessing a guy standing on the street, dealing drugs on surveillance cameras for weeks, then setting up a sting with the sole purpose of catching him. You don’t need the sting. It’s a waste of effort.

Case 2: Disgruntled writer (or MFA student) send in Pride and Prejudice or another classic, even award winning novel published at least twenty years ago to a mess of agents to prove agents don’t know good literature anymore.

Why: There’s no pussyfooting around it, this comes off as a “They don’t see my genius so I’m going to prove they wouldn’t know good literature if it bit them on the ass”.

The Problem: There are so many and there is no way to tell which one the submission got rejected for.

1. In all the reports of this sort of thing published the “writer” sent out a huge mess of queries. NO details are ever given if they followed guidelines, or even bothered to query agents who handle the genre of book they were submitting.

2. Also, they don’t publish their query letter, so if it sucked they never even got their foot in the door.

3. Also, editors and agents don’t waste time with BS like this. They aren’t going to initiate a potential fight with a querier by pointing out their book is already published. They’ll just form reject it and hope the author figures it out on their own. Just because they didn’t say they regocnized it doesn’t mean they did.

4. Also agents and editors deal with “tricks” like this all the time. The old hair in the manuscript trick, the “turn a page upside down so you know they read it” trick, the textured/odd colored/scented paper to grab attention tricks, the print it and bind it so they know what it would look like as a finished book trick, the include a head shot trick, the slide the unasked for manuscript under the bathroom stall door trick…you get it. Every agent has been through these things and they know the best thing to do is to minimize the experience. If you don’t give the author a way to argue back, don’t argue back, don’t even acknowledge their idiocy then they get bored and wander off to fight some new windmills.

5. Readers want different books now. The kind of stories, the kind of topics, the kind of characters, even the form and language what is being published NOW is not the same as what was being published THEN. This doesn’t make the classic less good, it makes it not appropriate in the current publishing market, and you know what, LOTS of great books aren’t getting published because they aren’t right for the current publishing market.

Case #3: Sting submission to Harlequin/Dellarte

Why: Do it to see whether Harlequin is funneling people to Dellarte (Harlequin’s VERY expensive “self publishing” branch)

The Problem: Again, multiples.

1. You have no way of knowing whether the editors were in on the Dellarte decision or not. If they weren’t (which is very likely) you’ll be basing your information on a barely-related source, punishing someone who was likely horrified by the move not to mention wasting their time.

2. There are plenty of people who submit to Harlequin every day. Ask them to share their rejections with you.

3. Oh wait, there are communities, like you know, that massive, literate, very verbal romance community, that are already doing this.

4. Also see my reason for Case #2 because they apply, particularly the ones about editors knowing writers tricks and not responding to them to prevent drama.

5. Because this whole proposition is not about helping anyone, or stopping anything. It’s about the drama of Dellarte having died down and a bunch of people, who are not bad people and who don’t have bad intentions, wanting to kick it up (maybe to get a more satisfying conclusion than RWA’s backing down). It’s about Atlanta Nights being idolized and cool and you wanting to be a part of it.

Like arguing with editors, agents and reviewers this is an instance where the people doing sting submissions cannot escape the perception that they’re just bitter and wasting their time trying to prove point that doesn’t need to be proven. I just don’t see the point in wasting your time and the editor’s time just to say “Haha I’m right!”

Anyone else?

Today the author made a statement which essentially was “Yes, it’s not good, but I’m just happy to be published so I’m not going to say anything else”. Worse the people commenting on the blog who did point out that there are options for outrage that won’t damage her bottom line were told that their “ball was in the wrong playground” and were told to debate the issue elsewhere.

Where else is there? No, really. Last week an incident that happened involving me that I consider to be racist and disrespectful. But the only witnesses were myself and the perpetrators. I want to stand up for the PoC who were dismissed and judged against, but I was told my opinion didn’t matter because I wasn’t black. I was warned that no one would listen to me because I wasn’t the one the racial offense occurred against.

Does a lack of a direct PoC victim make something less racist? I’m not talking slurs, I’m talking a judgment made based on race. If we, as advocates and allies, are commonly told to just duck our heads and don’t mess with the status quo, how does that change anything?

Many years ago I was also told I had no place in GLBT activism because I was dating a man, which meant I was somehow no longer “one of teh gays”. This has only gotten worse as my relationship became more serious and as I had my children.

How are these things less wrong and less offensive just because I’m not a PoC and not currently in a lesbian relationship? How is my anger, and my support of what’s just plain right on a human level less valid because I’m the only witness and I’m white, so I don’t count?

And how is it okay for an author to writer a book using a PoC as a main character, yet not allow even a discussion of the racism that white washed her cover? I can’t help thinking that race is good enough of an issue for her to use to make money, but not important enough to fight for. Likewise, Bloomsbury is putting forth the image that the book is good enough to publish, but not be honest about.

And furthermore I find the whole idea in publishing that African American fiction/covers must be in their own separate section offensive and demeaning on a base level. Do publishers fear I am too stupid to relate to a story just because the lead is not white like me? Personally I feel issues like this should offend all sexes, colors and genders.

As for this most recent book, yes, maybe boycotting isn’t the best answer, especially if it could damage the author’s future career. But there are alternatives. Personally, I like the idea of buying the book anyway, removing the cover and sending it back to Bloomsbury with a note of refusal or complaint. There are other ways to make a point and still not hurt the author, who had no choice on the cover. But ducking your head down and refusing to support the dignity and rights of the very people you’re writing about shouldn’t be one of them.

ETA: No sooner did I post this than Bloomsbury announces they are changing the cover. See, no boycott needed. And I think this is a statement that makes me feel that perhaps Bloomsbury did not intend to be insensitive or offensive.

If, for some reason, you haven’t heard yet romance megalith Harlequin announced this week that they are opening a self-publishing branch of their company. This is so very wrong, but don’t just believe me. Here’s a short index of who is saying what:

• Mystery Writer Allison Brennan
• Writer Beware
• Nora Roberts
• Ashley Grayson Literary Agency
• Jackie Kessler
• Suvudu
• Mystery Writers of America
• Lee Goldberg
• SFWA
• Smart Bitches
• How Publishing Really Works
• Ann Aguirre
• Agent Kristin Nelson
• Dear Author
• Preditors & Editors (who now lists Harlequin as a vanity publisher)
• Teddy Pig
• Emily Veinglory
• Absolute Write’s Thread on the topic
• Shiloh Walker
• Agent Jennifer Jackson
• Nathan Bransford
• Paula Guran

My issues break down like this:

1. The cheapest package is $499 and you still only get 50% of net profits. If I am going to pay someone to publish my work I am going to also get all the profits myself.

2. Harlequin is billing this as “Be published by Harlequin” which is deceptive, predatory and a slap in the face to the authors who fought through the slush pile to be “traditionally” published by Harlequin.

3. Harlequin has included in their announcement that when they send rejections they will include flyers for or special offers for their self publishing program. This skews the business to the point where Harlequin could easily make more money from rejecting and funneling would-be authors to the self publishing imprint than from publishing books as a legitimate book publisher (rather than just a book printer). This is the kind of BS that led to reading fees for agent being deemed scammy.

4. Harlequin has stated that the self publishing imprint won’t have Harlequin anywhere on it, and the distribution, book quality and such will depend on what you pay. This is a bait and switch as they are using the Harlequin name to draw in writers, but the people buying the books will NOT see Harlequin products. In fact, since most bookstores do not order or stock self published books consumers aren’t entirely likely to see products at all.

5. Harlequin hints that they *might* pick up a successful self published title for their normal lines. This preys on those people looking to circumvent the slush pile, or those who have well received but still unpublished novels. It gives them false hope and again Harlequin gets paid to reject people rather than getting paid to publish, market and sell books. And, because of #1 they also get paid TWICE to reject people.

This whole deal is like a strip club. Harlequin is selling the fantasy of being a published, Harlequin author but the price is high and in the end it’s just the fantasy they’re selling. They ain’t gonna sleep with you.

Does Harlequin, in this corporate age, have the right to do this? Well some of these things are a little fuzzy and definite fall into “Read the fine print and know what you’re getting” category, but yes, they have the right to do this. And MWA, SFWA, and RWA are all absolutely right in saying “If you want to go down that path you no longer qualify as a non-vanity publisher to us”.

Seriously? September 13th, 2009 EditSuch language! And using fabricated scripted FICTIONAL television shows as the basis for your expert knowledge? REALLY? We at the City of Refuge are FULLY AWARE of Mark’s past, and now the world is! So what kind of idiot do you think would leave him alone with children. As a matter of fact, he has EXPRESSLY BEGGED that we NOT leave him alone with children. So it’s vulgar, irresponsible people like you who we have to worry about that would clearly be neglectful enough to leave your child alone with someone whose history you don’t know cover to cover! There is NO NEED to leave your child alone with ANYONE! These are things you teach your child from a VERY early age! It’s a shame so many parents fail at that, and their children resultingly fall prey to this illness!

And to make sure my commenter (who I’m willing to bet thought I wouldn’t approve the message) has a good chance at seeing my response I’m posting it here:

Ma’am, my expert knowledge is based on being molested as a child myself and having family members blatantly tell me I was a wicked, evil child for even suggesting that my father was that kind of a person, because he was the decon of the church, so of course he must be innocent. No matter than twenty years later he was fired from a volunteer position for sexually harassing teenage girls.

My point about Law & Order and CSI is that even they seem to realize that children abused become stuck in a cycle of violence. Unsure of how to deal with the pain of abuse, the guilt of abuse and the later fears that they might have wanted it, or done something to deserve it they either lead lives trying to hide from the pain via addiction, trying to conquer the pain by doling abuse out to others, or punishing themselves for the actions of AN ADULT WHO KNEW BETTER. Very few people ever manage to come to terms with their abuse and live healthy lives, a tragic statistic that is clear even to the the writers of TV crime shows. So why doesn’t a church of adults seem to see this?

It’s not about leaving him alone with children, it’s about putting him in a role of guide and authority to children. This man is no spiritual adviser, he clearly can’t even keep himself from committing vile, evil acts on defenseless children. Pastors and adults lord over children in the Christan faith, and putting a man who has abused children in the past in this position of authority is disgusting.

That you say he begged to not be allowed around children only reinforces my opinion as a man who desperately puts the responsibility for his own actions on the shoulders of others, and who seems to fear his own actions so much, well this is not a man in control. This is not a man who knows he will not offend again.

As for your asinine assumption that vulgarity equals irresponsibility it clearly shows that your priorities are so misplaced that Madam I fear greatly for YOUR children. Before making assumption on my personal life perhaps you ought to do a little research, because I assure you I have a laundry list of people I could refer you to whose opinion of my parenting is best summed up as “If only more parents were like her”.

Finally, ma’am “illness” only gets a person so far. Alcoholics that kill people in DUIs sill go to jail for it. Addicts who steal, still go to jail for it. Mothers who drown their children because of postpartum depression still go to jail for it. And sex addicts who rape still go to jail for it.

The illness is the psychological and chemical workings of the brain. The CRIME is in acting on it, in this case the evidence I know of suggests that this man that you hold so hallowed anally raped a ten year old boy multiple times because he thought it was his right because he wanted to do. He thought it was his right to violate the mind, the body and the life of this child just because the child was present.

Do not dodge the truth of what happened with words like “illness” and by siting bible verses that urge one to forgive sins. The bible says FORGIVE the sinner, not put him in a position of authority over yourself and your children. You would never vote a convicted rapist mayor, or president. Yet in your microcosm of Louisville you have done just that and shame on you.