I’m delaying the publication of this because 1) I don’t want it to be a rant and 2) I don’t want it to be used as fuel against the person in question because they know by now that they stuck their foot in their mouth.

So what to writers owe readers? Their best work. (And if that’s not enough readers, ie sales, will tell you.) Civil treatment if the writer has a public online presence, or if the writer and reader meet face to face. That’s it.

What do readers owe writers? Honest transactions–if you like the author, you buy the book new, used, print or digital. Or you borrow it from someone who has purchased it legally, like a friend, relative or the library. Don’t distribute the writer’s work illegally, or claim it as your own. If you meet the author online or in person, be civil.

Across the board: No threats, no uncalled for insults (particularly of their children or loved ones who have no responsibility for the author’s work), no unprovoked personal attacks. (Why did I put “unprovoked” up there? Because some author behavior–when made public by the author–does deserve criticism–which is not the same thing as personal attacks. An author sharing a lot of information about their sex life, for example, does indicate to the public that the author’s sex life is something that’s okay to discuss.)

Do authors have the right to demand special needs be met for contests? Absolutely. If you want to enter that contest you have to do so as the prize giver instructs. That’s true everywhere. Do authors have the right to “reward” people who buy their books certain ways, or put up good reviews for them, sure. I mean, there’s a point where it gets dishonest and manipulative, but they have the right to do it.

Do authors have the right to dictate how and when and where readers can buy their books? Well yes and no. They do have the right to decide where to submit their work (small press distribution is different from mass market distribution). And to inform fans that if they want their sales to count toward getting the author on the Best seller’s lists it needs to be bought a certain way. Keyword INFORM.

This quote, however, I find terribly disturbing.

One more time people: now..cough..FRAKKING LISTEN. I’ve said it 1000 times in the past 2 wks, ONLINE sales DON’T COUNT. Don’t help me at all”

“As it’s not supposed to be released until March 2nd, you probably have plenty of time to cancel the order and buy it in a bookstore. Seriously, people, Amazon is the *death* of new release rankings. It’s where they go to be brutally butchered.”

“I want a picture of the receipt sent to me with the date of that week and I’ll have to figure out a way that you and only you get this. Because if you guys share and screw me out of my numbers/ranking/48 cents, it doesn’t help my career in the slightest. Online doesn’t count. It has to be a real bookstore with real people in it…not in the Matrix. NYT doesn’t count online sales.”

As a reader this kind of thing is insulting. Nowhere does it say “for this contest” or “to help me get on the best seller list”. This, I think, is at the least the mistake the author made.

The bold sentence (bolding mine) is particularly disturbing to me. I spend hundreds, into the thousands of dollars a year on books. And I go even further and spend thousands of hours a year reading, reviewing, publishing my reviews on many online reader sites, talking to people about books, recommending books I like, talking about the books I’m excited for. I even have releases marked on my calendar so I can help the authors I love in a timely fashion. I started BookLove to start a discussion with the world about books, why I love them, why I hate them, and why others should too. I do this because I love stories, I love books, and I love the people who work hard to bring them to me.

If all I get from an author is a constant slew of “buy this book” or worse, this sort of selfishness (and some even go so far as to insult their readers) it makes me feel like I’ve wasted my money, my time and my attention completely on a pit of ego.

I recognize that’s it’s very easy to take things wrong online, but that’s why we need to be careful how we say things. A lot of things could have been done to change these words from how I took them, into what they were probably meant to be, an author’s frustrated attempts to explain to fans how to help her make the bestsellers list. But fans have no responsibility to help you make the bestseller list. If they chose to jump through these hoops, they should be applauded, and the people who don’t jump should NOT be punished, or insulted or berated because they didn’t know, or couldn’t (or even just chose not to) play by these rules.

If you want to disqualify them from the contest, fine. But there is nothing about a contest in the quote above, so of course readers are going to get upset at being treated like that author’s lapdogs or piggy banks or whatever.

ALL sales count. All of them. Every sale is one more person who bought your work. It’s one more tick toward your advance or royalty, it’s one more READER who has opened themselves to your story. And every single sale should be valued and celebrated, even if it doesn’t qualify for a contest, or get you on the lists.

..suck. No really, I’ve always thought so. Sting submissions are when a person or persons submits a purposefully fake submission in order to prove some point. The most famous is Atlanta Nights, a purposefully horrid, repetitive and nonsensical novel submitted to PublishAmerica to prove they’d publish any work sent to them. You’ve probably also heard about someone submitting a classic novel, critically acclaimed to “prove publishers suck”. (Okay, so maybe the suck is me paraphrasing, but that’s still the point.)

So what’s the problem? It all comes down to why you did it. Let’s break it down.

Case 1: Atlanta Nights

Why: Did it to prove PublishAmerica accepts everything.

The Problem: We already knew that. I mean, yeah in a way it’s funny, and you called them on their crap, and it’s become a legend in the online writing world. But now everyone else wants to do it at the drop of the hat. Also, we already knew PublishAmerica was like that. It’s like the local cops witnessing a guy standing on the street, dealing drugs on surveillance cameras for weeks, then setting up a sting with the sole purpose of catching him. You don’t need the sting. It’s a waste of effort.

Case 2: Disgruntled writer (or MFA student) send in Pride and Prejudice or another classic, even award winning novel published at least twenty years ago to a mess of agents to prove agents don’t know good literature anymore.

Why: There’s no pussyfooting around it, this comes off as a “They don’t see my genius so I’m going to prove they wouldn’t know good literature if it bit them on the ass”.

The Problem: There are so many and there is no way to tell which one the submission got rejected for.

1. In all the reports of this sort of thing published the “writer” sent out a huge mess of queries. NO details are ever given if they followed guidelines, or even bothered to query agents who handle the genre of book they were submitting.

2. Also, they don’t publish their query letter, so if it sucked they never even got their foot in the door.

3. Also, editors and agents don’t waste time with BS like this. They aren’t going to initiate a potential fight with a querier by pointing out their book is already published. They’ll just form reject it and hope the author figures it out on their own. Just because they didn’t say they regocnized it doesn’t mean they did.

4. Also agents and editors deal with “tricks” like this all the time. The old hair in the manuscript trick, the “turn a page upside down so you know they read it” trick, the textured/odd colored/scented paper to grab attention tricks, the print it and bind it so they know what it would look like as a finished book trick, the include a head shot trick, the slide the unasked for manuscript under the bathroom stall door trick…you get it. Every agent has been through these things and they know the best thing to do is to minimize the experience. If you don’t give the author a way to argue back, don’t argue back, don’t even acknowledge their idiocy then they get bored and wander off to fight some new windmills.

5. Readers want different books now. The kind of stories, the kind of topics, the kind of characters, even the form and language what is being published NOW is not the same as what was being published THEN. This doesn’t make the classic less good, it makes it not appropriate in the current publishing market, and you know what, LOTS of great books aren’t getting published because they aren’t right for the current publishing market.

Case #3: Sting submission to Harlequin/Dellarte

Why: Do it to see whether Harlequin is funneling people to Dellarte (Harlequin’s VERY expensive “self publishing” branch)

The Problem: Again, multiples.

1. You have no way of knowing whether the editors were in on the Dellarte decision or not. If they weren’t (which is very likely) you’ll be basing your information on a barely-related source, punishing someone who was likely horrified by the move not to mention wasting their time.

2. There are plenty of people who submit to Harlequin every day. Ask them to share their rejections with you.

3. Oh wait, there are communities, like you know, that massive, literate, very verbal romance community, that are already doing this.

4. Also see my reason for Case #2 because they apply, particularly the ones about editors knowing writers tricks and not responding to them to prevent drama.

5. Because this whole proposition is not about helping anyone, or stopping anything. It’s about the drama of Dellarte having died down and a bunch of people, who are not bad people and who don’t have bad intentions, wanting to kick it up (maybe to get a more satisfying conclusion than RWA’s backing down). It’s about Atlanta Nights being idolized and cool and you wanting to be a part of it.

Like arguing with editors, agents and reviewers this is an instance where the people doing sting submissions cannot escape the perception that they’re just bitter and wasting their time trying to prove point that doesn’t need to be proven. I just don’t see the point in wasting your time and the editor’s time just to say “Haha I’m right!”

Anyone else?

Shiloh Walker is giving a Nook away in this contest:

Enter to win a Nook! Help me spread the word about my upcoming release, BROKEN-due out 3.2.2010.  You can get your name entered for a drawing for a Nook, the new ebook reader from Barnes and Noble. You can also enter by preordering the book online or buying the book during release week-during…not before. For the no purchase option, please see below.

Read on for details…

_______________________________

Read More

Shattered

Quinn Rafferty is working as a bounty hunter and bail bondsman in St. Louis when a new neighbor catches his eye. He’s tempted by her beauty—but he knows from experience that anyone desperate enough to live in his building is damaged goods. Besides, he has his own soul to mend before he can worry about anyone else.

Desperate

Sara Davis is on the run, but not for the usual reasons a woman goes on the lam. She’s not an abused wife, and she’s not a criminal. But she does have a plan for her future. And as much as she finds herself attracted to her gruff, tough neighbor, she can’t risk telling him the secrets she’s hiding. There’s just too much at stake.

Driven to desire…

But Quinn must get closer to Sara when she turns out to be the target of his new missing persons case, and he discovers that there is something more complex and dangerous to her than he thought. Now, both Quinn and Sara will have to expose their true feelings—as well as their fragile hearts—if they hope their love will survive…

EXCERPT

He opened the door—

And stopped dead in his tracks as somebody all but fell into his arms. Somebody…a woman. And not Theresa.

He caught her just above her elbows, automatically steadying her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice soft and low.

Then she lifted her face and Quinn found himself gazing into the biggest, brownest eyes he’d ever seen in his life. Feeling a little dazed, he studied her face while she stammered out another apology.

Quinn barely heard it.

He was too busy staring at her mouth. A very pretty mouth, a cupid’s bow mouth slicked with deep, vibrant red. Under his hands, he could feel silken smooth skin and unable to resist, he stroked a thumb along her inner arm.

Her skin was soft, soft and warm. He was also pretty sure she had the creamiest, most flawless skin imaginable. Her shoulder-length hair was a shade caught between blonde and brown, nondescript, but for some reason, he found himself thinking about tangling his fingers in that hair and holding her head still while he kissed that red-slicked mouth.

Well, hello…

read more…

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Prize:

A Nook-name drawn randomly.

A second prize will also be given away-will include books, probably a GC and other assorted goodies.

No purchase option:

• You can get ONE entry sending a postcard WITH YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS AND MAILING ADDRESS to Shiloh Walker PO BOX 976 Jeff, IN 47131. Post cards must be received by 3/2/10 in order to be entered into the drawing and this is limited to one postcard/entry per household.
• Yes, you can enter using all three options- buy or preorder, blogging and postcard entry.
• Added 2/22/10-You can mail your preorder entry via postal mail, if you choose, marking out sensitive data. Send to above addy.
• Yes, this contest is open to those outside the country-however, I realize the Nook may not be ideal for international winners, and should an international winner be drawn, I do have another alternative in mind-however, that alternative will only be offered in the event an international winner is drawn.
• I reserve the right to delete suspicious entries.
• Do NOT post this contest to sweepstakes or contest sites. In the event this happens, I reserve the right to end the contest without drawing a winner and without giving away the prize.
• By entering any of my contests, you attest that you are eighteen, or the age of majority in your place of residence.
• It is your responsibility to check back and see if you’ve won.  The winner’s name will be announced either the week BROKEN releases or the week following around mid-March to allow the mailed receipts time to arrive.
• One entry per household.
• Read my disclaimer for the other rules.

Kim Paffenroth, author of Dying to Live, and excellent zombie series:

Buy DYING TO LIVE in the month of March – perfect for Easter baskets!

Send proof of purchase to

DyingtoLiveMarchMadnessContest@hotmail.com

At the end of the month, one lucky winner will get the complete Kim Paffenroth zombie miscellany collection:

SHROUD magazine #5 with my story, “Buddha in the Box” (signed or personalized)
THIN THEM OUT – chapbook co-authored with Julia and RJ Sevin (signed by all three of us)
ORPHEUS AND THE PEARL – original edition (signed or personalized)

Good luck!

My review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls could win you over $100:

If you go here (Quirk’s webpage) and post that my review sent you there we (that is you too!) will be entered to win one of 50 Quirk Classic Prize Packs (worth over $100), which include:

• • An advance copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls
  • Audio Books of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
  • A password redeemable online for sample audio chapters of Dawn of the Dreadfuls
  • An awesome Dawn of the Dreadfuls Poster
  • A Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Journal
  • A box set of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Postcards

Naomi Clark’s new book, Silver Kiss (Lesbian!! Werewolves!!) is out and she’s been doing a ton of give aways through her twitter feed.

Fellow reviewer (and total awesomeness) Katiebabs is giving away 3 hard cover copies of Rachel Ward’s YA debut Num8ers:

There’s been a great deal of buzz about Rachel Ward’s debut Young Adult novel, Num8ers. And to celebrate this release, I have 3 hardcover copies to give away!

In order to have your chance to win, leave a comment here why you would like a copy. How would you deal if you were unfortuate enough to have Jem’s ability and knew the date of a person’s death?

You have until Friday, March 19th to enter and only open to US Residents.

Book Smugglers and Stacia Kane have joined up and are giving away a complete set of Stacia’s awesome UF demon series:

To celebrate the release of Demon Possessed, we are having the lovely Stacia Kane over for an interactive Q&A and a chance to win her books! We have TWO sets of Megan Chase books (Personal Demons, Demon Inside, and Demon Possessed) up for grabs. Entry is easy and simple, per usual – just leave a comment here asking Stacia a question (about her series, her writing process, her favorite demons, etc). The contest is open to all, and will run until Saturday, March 6th at 11:59PM (PST). Good luck, and let the questions begin.

Inspired by this Storyteller’s Unplugged article and a ton of other author sites. And a picture.

1. Where do you get your ideas?

Everywhere. Like here:

And here.

Ideas are everywhere. Think of yourself as surrounded by a giant wiffle ball. The inspiration is just the ideas that fall through the holes to you. The more you’re out there reading, searching out art, listening to music, the more you’ll catch.

2. I have a great idea for a book. Can I tell you, will you write it so we can share the profits?

No. Ideas are the easy part. The hard part is the hours, days, weeks, months and even years it takes of work sitting with words in our head like this massive pile of puzzle pieces–most of the pieces won’t even fit right–and trying to make a lovely picture out of it. Writing, even when inspired and flowing, isn’t easy.

Plus if it’s YOUR idea you should also make it YOUR story. It’ll mean more that way.

3. Could you write me into your next book?

Why? I mean I never take a person directly from life and put them into my books. I might take aspects of them–an outfit of theirs, their job, their name, a look they give me–but the simple truth is that most people aren’t characters. Besides, people die in my books. A lot of people die, in a lot of different ways. I write speculative fiction, and dark spec fic at that. I don’t even stick to the rules of physics, or reality (love the paranormals), or legal rules, so why would I stick to the “rules” of personality required to get a real person’s personality right and try not to offend them as well? It’s just too much when the ego (in the psychological sense, not the term used as an insult) of  a person is involved as well.

4. You know what would have been awesome? If [character from last book] had done [this thing] instead of [that thing] and…

No, and you know what, that book is already published in a final, fixed form. Keywords: Final. and Fixed.

5. Will you read my novel?

If it is not contracted or already published then, no. I’m sorry, I have a rather full schedule and just don’t have time anymore.

6. Will you refer me to your agent/editor/writer friend I idolize?

Probably not. I don’t have an agent at this time, but even if I did the same rules would apply for them as from editors, writers and question #5. I can’t recommend you to a publishing professional unless I’ve read your work first, and again, I just have too many obligations at this time.

7. Can I borrow some money? Because all writers are rich….

Ahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahaha! *wheeze, inhale*Hahahahahahahahahahaha! *tears* Oh, you’re a funny person.

8. I want to be a writer, what do I need to do?

Write. Now write a good story. Now write a story good enough to be published. How do you know if it’s that good? Read. A lot. See what’s being published in more than one genre and take those books apart to see what makes them successful. Does your novel have that? If not, keep trying. If you think so not it’s time to research writing as a business. There are great places for that (like the SFWA website, Miss Snark’s archives, and the Absolute Write Water Cooler). So once you have a story and the business info, make a plan. Follow it. Be flexible enough to evaluate whether your plan is working and tweek it when needed.

Meanwhile get a “real job” or marry rich so you can have the freedom to follow your dream instead of being crushed by the daily grind of life, bills and everything.

Yeah, I’m a little late, but here it is.

Submissions: 68

Rejects: 64

Sales: 2 (plus 3 holds and 1 rewrite request)

Words Written: Fiction-127,553  Reviews-39,338

Stories Written: 1 novel, 2 novellas, 3 short stories

Observations: 2009 was a rough year. My yearly submission goal is usually 100 subs a year. That encountered a massive problem in 2009 because most of my short stories were horror and most horror markets were either not appropriate for me and my goals, or not open. This led to me focusing my writing on novels and SF/F rather than horror. I also did a lot of rewriting and editing and reevaluating of older works which led to no real visible “work”, but bringing some of my short stories up to par and sending the ones I was tired of into the trunk.

Also, I made reasonable money this year. Not like “Who needs a real job” money, but a “Hey, I could go to a con on this!” money.

There lots of other stuff that means little to people other than me, like my personal vs form rejects ratio and the partial and full requests I got from agents. Personal pride, but boring unless it’s you getting them.

Also in 2009 I surprised a few writers by being good, made a few top reads lists, interviewed some of my own favorite writers, became a zombie editor, and might just have gotten a real chance at the Stoker. Certainly can’t complain.

We’ve all heard it, especially lately. “If you aren’t making any sales, then write a better story.” Allow me to confuse you for a moment; They’re totally right, and they’re also completely wrong.

The goal should always be to write better. To grow and experiment and play with language genre and form. You should always try to live new lives, have new experiences, through your fiction, or reveal something new about yourself. (Like how much you freakin’ rock!)

But it’s not always a matter of writing better, sometimes it all comes down to stupid, uncontrollable luck.

You will NEVER go wrong by improving your grammar, spelling, punctuation and language use. You will NEVER go wrong reading as widely as you can, and especially reading the genre you write in to see what is currently being published.

But chances are very high you’ll work and grown–and reach a point where you’re regularly getting personal, kind rejections and requests for more, invites to submit and sometimes even a lot of interest from editors…who still ultimately pass.

Writing better isn’t the end all of advice for breaking through this stage. Persistence is.

Because only part of being successful in publishing is writing well. The rest is all timing. It’s being ready when opportunities arise. It’s networking and being tuned in to calls for submissions. It’s having the pitch when the editor asks “what are you working on right now” and having the pages when the agent says “That sounds interesting, do you have pages I can read?”

Rejections don’t always mean “Your writing isn’t good enough”. It also means “We wanted classic giant bugs, not new interpretations of bug” or “We want post apocalyptic zombies, not magical zombies”. Or “This issue is shaping up to be about mental illness and we need something that matches that” or “We have too much fantasy, do you have a SF story?” or “We already have a time traveling lesbian in space story”.

I don’t know that there is “writing better” in these cases, unless it comes down to a “We have three zombie cow stories and only need one, which one is the best?” situation. Sometimes it’s just a matter of timing, or else big name authors wouldn’t still get rejections (and they do. They also sometimes deserve to get rejects.)

So if you feel you can’t get an better, you can’t put anything else into your fiction (you’re wrong, but it might take some time for you to find that next step, so you’re allowed to feel this way) without slicing a vein and just offering that up–then just hold on to persistence. Because timing does count and that editor interest means something. It means you’re on your way. The rest of the world might just need to catch up to you.

And take heart, because very few stories expire once written, so even if it takes years to sell, or seems to go through everywhere and only get nos, that doesn’t make it complete trash.

There’s a discussion going on lately about market pay rates (and a silly side discussion about the conspiracy of How Pro Writers are Keeping New Writers Out of the Marketplace, which we will discuss later) and what pay level is “worthy” and “unworthy”. Lots of people have said many smart things, and many thought provoking things, and a few people who I know to be smart and savvy have put things in a way that at best is intolerant of BS (which, btw one fifth of a cent per word is.)

The first thing I think we need to do is define “Worthy” and “unworthy”. See, “worthy” means worthy something to you. And “unworthy” means not worth something to you. Already we see just how damn subjective this publishing thing is because building a career starts with defining what you want. Are you a hobbyist and you just want to be published? Fine, but don’t tell those who are trying to be pros that they’re elistist jerks keeping you down because they have standards and you’re happy with seeing your name in print. Don’t expect them to submit to the lower level zines like you do, and likewise pros keep in mind that no everyone wants to be well published and well paid and build a career.

What I want is a career where I feel relatively sure that I can sell each quality piece I write, eventually. Pretty much one where I’ve proven myself a reliable source of quality and professionalism, where readers want to read my work and publishers are happy to work with me.

So when I submit I have this very much in mind. I submit to the publications that will help me in this process. So it needs to:

1) Make me money.

or

2) Advance my career in some way.

Number 2 encompasses:

A) Getting my story read by an editor who might remember me and invite me to participate in projects later.

B) Have my story included in a critically acclaimed or potentially (or actually) award winning magazine, anthology, etc.

C) Help me build a larger reader base.

My last sale was to Expanded Horizons, which pays $30. Not pro, or even semi pro depending on what length you sell to them. But it is publishing award winning stories. It is centering on an audience I’d like to reach, and this publication is me getting paid and my readers still getting to read the story for free. I get a token payment and I get another free story to promote myself with. Yeah pro payment would rock, but I’m not complaining now.

So clearly my (short story) submissions are focused on largely recognized magazines with an established reader base first. Then magazines with critical acclaim and award nominations or wins, then on money/qualifying for SFWA/HWA, then on what else they might offer. I have (I think) 5 Asimovs rejections. Yeah, that’s 5 rejects, but that’s 5 times my story was read by Shelia Williams (no really it is, the rejects are all personal from her).

If a story has not held up to my top tiers I go to the next goal. And if I gets down to “what else it can offer” that’s when I think about getting paid to have a freebie read, getting to be published with someone I admire, or work with an editor I want to work with, or getting to be part of a neat project concept. And if the market has none of this to offer me, then why should I submit and let someone make money (from magazine or book sales, or website ads) off my hard work when I could just publish it myself on my blog where I know it will get read?

Publishing is a business (I know, you’ve heard that before), but a business relationship is based on two or more arties giving each other something they need or desire. Walmart gives you cut rate Christmas toys. You give them money. It’s important to remember that YOU matter in this submissions game, just as much as the market does. And likewise, if all you are doing is submitting and not supporting you are draining the genre of the gems within.

Tomorrow: The Myth of “Just Write Better”

The other day I was talking with author Jackie Kessler on Twitter (briefly, so this isn’t an Oh Hai I know THE Jackie Kessler post or anything) about the Harlequin Horizons thing (btw, they’ve now publicly removed “Harlequin” from the venture, which is what brought up the discussion.) And today I was looking at Snuggies because both the kids asked for them for Yule (I have one that Jason bought me as a gift that is 7xl and came from a housewares magazine, not a commercial. Everyone constantly steals it from me so I never get to use it because either someone else is, or it has been dragged/left on the floor and is covered in cat fur. So time to consider getting them their own Snuggies so I can keep mine clean and use it when I want.) After reading some of the scam reports online about the Fosdick Corporation (the one that runs most of those “As Seen on TV” ads) I hunted for and found, a free easy how-to-sew for a sleeved blanket instead (plus, my son wants a red one, and I couldn’t find one.)

The two situations are linked though, because it made me think a lot about how we fling around “scam” (hint: It’s a lot like we fling around “Nazi” even though today most people don’t really understand what a Nazi was, or stood for. History has faded some and now Nazi has been muted a great deal as an easy way for people to indicate racist, evil or over all bad people. And do you see how quickly some people throw around Hitler as well? Completely out of sync with the depth of who and what the man was and now just using it like Nazi, molester, rapist, etc as a lazy descriptor to provoke extreme reactions. Anyway…)

Let me first tell you my one and only experience with As Seen On TV. Two years ago I got online and bought a set of Topsey Turvies (If you look in the gardening category of my blog you’ll see how they worked for me). I knew going in they’d try to trick me into running up a big bill on shipping and handling, because with those deals that’s where they make their money. I declined an offer for “Two sets” though based on the online reports I read lots of people fell for it and thought two sets meant two of the product (this is why they offer to double or triple your product, it helps confuse you and override your “What a deal!” sensor). I opted for an upgrade that would let me grow herbs along the side of the bag of the Topsey Turvy (Don’t do this. They really aren’t big enough to support that much root, at least if you plant to plant a tomato plant in the bottom and herbs all down the side. If it was all herbs, then maybe it could work.) It was and extra $10 and I thought that was great for two bags. Except they didn’t tell me it was $10 per bag, plus extra shipping and handling, didn’t give me an option to get just one upgrade.

But I was never sent to an “approve your purchase” page or a “place your order” page. You put your credit card info in first so they can charge you all they want and never give you a total. I made my purchase in February and I actually received my shipment (because I had no way to cancel, and I did still want the product) in October to the tune for $57. So much for that 2 for $19.95 deal, but then, you are smart enough to know that already.

I don’t regret having the product, but I will never buy online from those kinds of places again, especially since you can go to Walmart, Target and CVS and get the product without all the “bonuses” that they use to rip you off.

Which brings me back to my point, I do not consider these business practices (the Snuggie, the Topsey Turvy, et al and Harlequin Horizons) to be scams. Scams imply the company or person take your money and give you nothing, or a seriously inferior product in return. Clearly I got my product, and I have enjoyed using it, and will continue to use it and might even buy more someday, directly from a store. With few case-by-case exceptions the companies do (or intend to) deliver on the product they guaranteed to sell you.

What all these things have in common is some seriously shitty business practices. This puts them clearly into the rip off category. They don’t scam you, they just bury things in the fine print, make it things you’re likely to miss if you aren’t paying attention. They give us the old Razzle Dazzle (yay, Chicago reference!) and we fall for it because this capitalist society has trained us to key in on deals and things and shiny pretty neat-o. Perhaps that is a rant for another time, so let’s chalk it up to they offer us a great easy deal and we don’t think about whether it’s that great of a deal or not because we WANT whatever it is that they’re selling. (And yay internet age, we don’t have to wait, but you should because it gives you time to consider if you really need it or not.)

My major problems with Horizons were/are:

1. It was advertised as Harlequin, but it wasn’t. The Wasn’t part is clear once you get to the packages and pricing, but before that it was set up to prey on people who were thinking with their passionate Muse-crazed hearts rather than their heads, and it cheapened the lines that other authors fought through slush to be published by. It killed their rep, and they had no say whatsoever in it, so it was unfair to those authors.

Without the Harlequin name on it this issue is significantly reduced. I don’t have a problem with a company owning a publisher and a printer. For example Insidious Publications does it on a small scale and they do amazing gorgeous wonderful work. And again, as I pointed out above when Insidious does a print run they doing is as the printer and someone else is considered the publisher. In most cases the purchaser never knows that Insidious did the printing for the publisher. This is how it should be because then if A Crappy Publisher employs Insidious to print a limited run for them A Crappy Publisher’s Horrible Novella of Hurt doesn’t damage the reputation of Insidious or of the authors published by Insidious. There’s a separation there that comes from a PUBLISHER selling to READERS and a PRINTER selling to PUBLISHERS (who will then later sell to readers).

2. Harlequin planned to or possibly is advertising their self publishing branch in all their rejections.

First look around the Absolute Water Cooler to see how aspiring and not-so-amateur writers feel about having their SASEs used to sent them advertising. Submitting to an agent., publisher, magazine, or writing an internet published review of a publisher’s product IS NOT OPTING IN. (Yes, this one is a little personal.) This is the real life equivalent of going to a job interview, where you almost always get the polite “thanks, but no thanks” and then having the interviewer take you through the gift shop and tell you about the great deals you can get there.

In short: It is not cool. At all.

This is still an issue that I have not seen or hear of being resolved. This is possibly my biggest problem with this whole thing because it hurts.

For an example of what I’m talking about visit this page of a supposedly legit publisher’s Guidelines. They recommend off the bat an editing service, two manuscript submission services, a how to book and a “custom printing” (aka self publishing) company. If you were surfing the web and read this you could quickly and easily dismiss the “publisher” as being not for you and move on. But what if you got a seemingly normal set of guidelines for this market from Publishers Marketplace or Agent Query or the number of reputable submissions tool sites out there and in the same envelope as your rejection was this spiel. Even if you’re to the point where rejections don’t cause an emotional response getting this ad with the reject would clearly show you that a) the initial guidelines were misleading b) you just wasted you time and money submitting to a publisher that is not at all what you want.

This is exactly what Harlequin’s Ads in rejects policy is/was doing.

3. The Horizons/Alecort/whatever packages are incredibly overpriced.

So are Snuggies and Topsey Turveys if you buy them on the phone or online. But overpriced isn’t a scam, it’s a rip off. You can easily see by comparing the prices at other printers, like Lulu and Createspace, and even other notorious over chargers like Dorrance Publishing. This, combined with #1 is borderline predatory because it lures you in with promises of “Harlequin published” then you see, no, not really but you can certainly say you put money into your work. (Seriously, buy a car instead. It could cost about the same and would be a much better investment. You know you can sell a car.)

While those who want to publish with Harlequin and those of us who really want a Slap Chop could get taken for a lot of money by the companies providing these products it primarily comes down to read the fine print, look before you leap and for gods’ sakes BUYER BEWARE.

I strongly feel that the break down in discussion about these sorts of topics (especially in politics, but again, that’s another rant) begins with the use of extreme, imprecise language designed to be inflammatory. Then it begats a lash back that is equally skewed and defensive. I don’t think we can have a logical, good discussion about serious topics if everyone resorts to this sort of thing. I know we are writers, and we are passionate and persuasive at our core. But sometimes having the discussion is more important than convincing people you’re right.

Even if you are.