May 6

Batman vs Superman: Dawn of WTF were they thinking

Look, I’ve been called a critic before, a term that reflects that people think I am way more well read that I think I am and that I’m way more discerning than I am. Nervous writers waiting to hear my opinion makes me a little nervous because what I say and what people hear (especially authors) is not always the same thing. What I really am, is a fan girl. I, like a lot of people, get hooked on a story and want more more more. I watch shows way after I’ve lost interest in them, hoping the writers will redeem themselves. I look for the good point in the crap books. I am a total sucker for that magic moment when once enemies join hands to defeat the bad guy. I WANT to fall for the writings, for the characters, for the mood.

Sometimes I just can’t.

My gods was BvS a trial for me. To begin with the movie is flabby. Yes, absolutely we want as much time with our heroes as possible. Content, give us MOAR! But I really wish I could have cut a few things (We had to watch the flashback of Bruce’s mothers death twice?? We KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! And good gods I was going to snarl if we had to see another loving gaze between Lois and Clark.)

Second, and the biggest thing to stick with me, does DC have a solid plan for their universe? I liked that Batfleck was directly impacted and inspired by Zod’s attack on Earth. “The New York” incident changed so much for the characters in the Marvelverse, especially followed by Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I really liked that DC was making Zod’s attack the moment of impact for their world. This movie had the most cohesiveness as far as an expanded world of any DC movie I’ve seen. But it has very little compared to the TV version. In fact, that’s a huge issue. We actually have a very well established and well played Flash….so why is Barry Allen someone completely different in the movie? I thought maybe the setting was after the current tv show was set, so I did expect someone else to play Barry, someone older. But… we got a young adult that looks nothing like this Barry Allen:

3367083-barry_allen_003

Or This Barry:

IMG_6051

Or this Barry who is the currently established “Flash”:

The Flash -- "Going Rogue" -- Image FLA104A_0307b -- Pictured: Grant Gustin as Barry Allen -- Photo: Cate Cameron/The CW -- © 2014 The CW Network, LLC. All rights reserved.

I don’t expect perfect continuity. I mean, I manage to accept Gotham, for the most part. I do believe in different interpretations of the same story and don’t commonly throw fits when cinema isn’t absolutely true to the book. But we aren’t talking about a book version and a tv/movie version. We’re talking someone at DC thought it would be a spectacular idea to tell us two very different people are the exact same person, and they wish to spend precious interacting-with-an-audience time to convince us so.

And that’s just an example of DC’s occasional complete lack of ability to commit.  Accepting back tracks and reboots can be done, given time and some good writing. But I cannot even begin to be a DC fan without running into this wall of “Oh shit, we don’t like where this is going, REDO!” Not that other media worlds don’t have their “it was all a dreams” but DC has them everywhere. And every time I slam up against one of them it takes me time to reset. So why not try to avoid using the reset/reboot/clone/alternate timeline thing? I accept it in The Flash tv show because Flash is a time traveler and we all know time is wibbly-wobbly, right?

I accept it in Legends of Tomorrow because they do a pretty good job of messing with the timeline, but still keeping their core characters clearly defined. Everyone in the Flash makes a joke of Earth 1/Earth 2 versions of themselves. They have problems with it. Hell, there are multiple episodes where Barry tries to adjust to working with a man who has the face of the man who killed his mom, betrayed his trust and killed his friend. They make it a plot point, they understand the viewers too, can’t always change gears that fast. Where is that flexibility, that writing, in the movies?

It’s not just the multiple flashes issues. That’s just the most jarring of the misalignments. I said I like Zod’s attack being the OMG Aliens! point in the DCverse, but SPOILERS: Batfleck also finds Lex’s files on meta humans, with folders for Cyborg (YAY!!), Wonder Woman (YAY!!), Aquaman (Hot Damn!), and Flash. But…If the events of the Flash/Arrow/Legends version are all true it would be so goddamned easy, and why would we even be questioning if there were metahumans? The whole world would have access the the knowledge of the S.T.A.R. Labs reactor explosion. And the Starling City terrorist attack. And all the metahumans in Central City who Flash fights. FLASH and Arrow have both appeared on tv, like not in “caught on film” ways, but have has appreciation days and sent out video missives. Flash has action figures and drinks named after him in Central City. That would be absolutely, ridiculously easy for Lex to have followed. Where are the newspaper clippings? Iris’s op-eps? The youtube videos established in the other shows?

Here’s a bigger question: One of the characters in Arrow WORKED. FOR. CADMUS. They not only know metahumans exist, they hunt them, arrest them, hold them, and use them as weapons. And it has been VERY established in cannon that LEX LUTHOR and LEXCORP worked with CADMUS a whole, whole lot. And if Lex is savvy enough to know who Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are (I do buy that he is) how does he not know about CADMUS?? Why didn’t he have their files hacked too?

That’s my point. I have way too many questions, I have way, way too much confusion abut continuity, largely because DC doesn’t seem to give a flying flip about it. What is the message you want to be sending to your TV viewer fans? Marvel seems to be trying to include fans with their giggles and nods across the board (the cameos back and forth). DC…not so much. The message I got was “We don’t care about what you know or like, this is what we want to do.”

Third, let’s talk about the love affair between Kal-El and Lois. We don’t expect it to reach Lois and Clark levels, but I really didn’t feel anything between the two. It felt so forced. We know, we get it, but even her moments of trying to cheer mopey Sups she felt…flat. It didn’t seem like she was passionate about much of anything. She was smart though, and they didn’t try to convince us that she couldn’t recognize Superman with glasses.

Superman himself, well, he also felt flat. In the fights, in the crime fighting, yeah, that was fun. But between, when he was Clark Kenting he felt about as real as when Deadpool stapled the paper face over his own. We absolutely got he sense of who Bruce Wayne was, even when Affleck was staring out a window. But Kent looked more like he was staring into space while the cameras happened to be rolling. People joke about like this actor better as Batman, and that one better as Bruce Wayne, now I get it. I liked this Superman, but give me back Routh as Clark Kent.

Before the movie came out a non-comic-reading friend asked me about the context of the idea of Batman versus Superman. She didn’t understand the themes, since they were both good guys, like 100% good guys. That launched an excited 2 hour conversation because the themes of superheroes is one I LOVE. Especially Superman as the good boyscout who has no idea what it’s like to be human and might someday become resentful toward the people he always has to save, while people might also start worshiping him as a god in the flesh. And Batman as the one of the few absolute humans who steps up to help people, and who despite all the moodiness and depression and unhealthy obsession, still clearly believes that one small act of being saved can keep a little person hopeful and fighting. Batman is far more of an optimist, and, is Superman even a hero, since it costs him pretty much nothing to fight crime since he can’t get hurt and can usually out power anything? See, love those discussions. But did that come up in the movie? A little bit. Only a little bit. They had to make more time for Supes to make moon eyes at an unimpressed Lois, I guess.

Okay, on to the good. I liked the action. The fight scenes were brutal, as they should have been. I liked Batfleck. I really did. LOVED Wonder Woman. Loved Lex. (Loved that the Lex evil plot didn’t involve real estate. Loved that he took the information from the Kryptonian ship before anything else, and that the end made it very clear that he still knew a hell of a lot more than he was telling.) And I know a lot of people have taken issue with the bleakness of the tale, but I liked it. Gotham is freakin’ bleak people. Batman is a dark story and has been for a long time. It played like most of the cast were taking the movie seriously. (Perhaps that’s why I was a little less sold on Superman, because it was like he was uninvested, there for a check.)

Again I REALLY LIKE that we are starting to form a real world setting, that this movie’s plot directly came about because of the last movie.

But clearly DC still has some issues to get its shit together on.

 

 

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May 6

Review: Gotham Academy #6

Gotham-Academy-6-coverOlive and her friends are finally getting some answers from Killer Croc when Batman busts up the party. Olive tries to defend Croc from Batman, meanwhile Batman tries to cut Croc out of the picture permanently. A who’s who evil, rescuer situation is complicated by the fact that Olive knows it was Batman that tore her family apart, jailing her mother in Arkham and sentencing her to Gotham Academy. Apparently the Dark Knight is 1) no hero in Olive’s eyes, but is instead a family destroyer and 2) is still entirely too interested in Olive and what genetics she may have inherited from her mother. How far will he take his interest? Well this is Batman and Obsession we’re talking about, so, probably way too far.

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May 3

Sadly, Yes, ALL women

The talk about rape culture is on going. My DH insist men (real men) ARE taught not to hit, hit on, or be stalkery to women. Than the lessons on consent and what he sees as basic civility are out there. I hope so.

But that doesn’t stop people. I just read an whole article on it. I’ve been through it. Now I get to watch my daughter go through it.

When she was in fourth grade we had “the talk” with her because a fellow student was using cartoon chess pieces to make lewd suggestions to her.

We’ve been hunting down the Gallopalooza horses lately. The most recent set includes statues of mint julieps (though I’m not sure why, because natives never drink the things. Those are for tourists.) Mini and one of her friends have been helping me. Well not long ago we were downtown getting pictures and they approached one of the julieps and, being a giant five foot drink, they pretended to drink it. At which point an adult male tells these two kids (11 and 12) “Yeah, suck it. That’s so hot! Suck that thang!”

TO KIDS. Clearly kids. I mean, they’re developing a little, but they are clearly kids. The girls were pretty creeped out and upset. And they should be. What the hell? How do you protect you kids from that? I was there with them, getting pictures too. How the hell does anyone think that’s appropriate??

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May 3

Review: Wolf Moon #2 by Cullen Bunn and Jeremy Haun

wolf moon 2As is the nature of comics this issue is a bit of a down time where new things are revealed to our (probable) hero. If a werewolf that possesses a new person for the three nights of the full moon and slaughters gleefully through families and towns isn’t bad enough someone is hunting the survivors, the people who the wolf once possessed, and tearing them apart. Spliced with wolf adventures with some clever, but not clever enough, heroes, this issue at least lets our hero know what exactly is at stake. Recommended for horror comic readers.

Contains: Violence, Language, gorewolffmoon2

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May 1

Review: Wolf Moon #1by Cullen Bunn and Jeremy Haun

wm1A lot has been done with the werewolf tale, in fact romance tales of werewolves being tamed run side by side with horror tales of cannibal beasts. Bunn offers us this take of a werewolf that doesn’t just transform people, it transforms lives, and of the people obsessed with ending it.

There’s plenty of gore and darkness to be had amid some awesome art. (A touch of Supernatural, a touch of The Wolfman.) but it’s in the last frame that Bunn gives us more than just a good, but typical werewolf tale. This is the first in a 6 part mini series so it should be easy and inexpensive for comic readers to check out. And if readers love horror comics this is one to find.

Contains: Gore, language, violence

wolfmoon2

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