December 27

Was 2011 a failure?

This is a question I’ve been asking myself since Yule. I still can’t answer it.

I’ve been troubled a lot this week by looking back and realizing this time last year I had a good job I liked, was hunting for assistance to go back to school, had quite a few stories published, fewer bills, met one of my author idols, interviewed another, hit all my writing goals…

And this year I’ve had (and lost) 4 jobs, my only publications are self publications, my husband is very likely losing his job, we’re behind on bills, I’ve not got crap done as far as writing and I’ve been in an out of a depression for eight months. It’s not all bad. I sold my first novel, none of the job losses were my fault (in fact two have called me back for second positions now, hopefully the most recent one will be a permanent position), I’m healthy when a lot of people haven’t been, my kids are doing excellent in school, and I got a freelance gig as a slush editor, a job I’d been wanting for years now.

It’s no wonder I’m feeling lost in an ocean of…stuff. Emotions, facts, trends, wants, needs, fears.

I admit that I’m one of those people who look way to much at what I haven’t done, the days I went and spent time with the kids and the husband instead of sitting down to write, or the days when I was too emotional to get anything done, fighting my own brain chemistry. I know the depression is certainly not my fault. I know spending time with my family is certainly not time wasted. But I’m a creature of guilt and I feel guilty for not being significantly closer to my goals this year. I feel guilty for not being stronger than stupid depression.

2011 has made me feel, more than anything, weak. So many things have slipped through my fingers, and I probably couldn’t have stopped any of them. But that doesn’t stop me from wondering if I could have. From asking myself how I expect to be able to make deadlines, to do this as a career if I can’t make myself sit down and write everyday. How do I expect to make a living off my words if I can’t overcome biological laziness and stress?

The other part of the problem is that I have a really hard time demanding my needs be met. I have a hard time telling my family no, I HAVE to get this scene done. I have a hard time telling my boss, no, you cannot change my schedule on me three times in two days. I have a hard time telling other authors emailing me for book reviews, no, I just don’t have the time.

I started out this year as a bookseller. I’ve been reviewing since 2007. I’ve been fan-girl reviewer for so long people I’ve submitted to have told me they didn’t know I was an author when I mentioned my book. I consistently read instead of writing. I consistently review instead of writing. The only goals I’ve reached this year are my books read and reviews written ones.

Books make me happy. Reading them, reviewing them, getting to talk about them, getting to edit them and pick them out of slush piles and… I love books, with the whole of my being. I think it’s time I love MY books too.

I’m not quitting reviewing. I do like talking books and unless I get another bookselling job (which is unlikely the way things are right now) reviewing is my forum for that. Plus I really enjoy working with the Monster Librarian crew. But I have been given a new position at ML, which allows more original work and less straight reviewing. And there’s nothing saying I have to review every book I read anymore.

I have to tell myself it’s okay to work on my stories. It’s okay to take time for my projects. I love the book community, but I need to rebuild myself a bit, because it feels like I’ve been flaking away this year while I’ve been tossed around.

Was 2011 a failure? I can’t say that because that would mean Wolf Heart is unimportant and Violet Ivy is unimportant and the books I have gotten done and the goals I have reached are unimportant. But 2012 calls for a refocusing, beyond making goals and trying to stay motivated to reach them. 2012 calls for changes from a deeper place, a place which means the blog might be quieter and less interaction online and less reviews and cons and such. Because I really do feel I have more to give than just my reviews and my support as a fan and as a reader.

I have stories to tell, and emotions to make you feel, and it’s about time I brought that side out again.

December 25

Recommended Reads

(Just in case you got an ereader for a gift and don’t know what to get.)

Aftermath by Ann Aguirre

Aftermath is the fifth book in a six book series, which means if you love science fiction with rich detail and characters, grand world-changing adventure and a dose of romance this isn’t the book to start with. (You should start at the beginning Grimspace.) And if you’re already a fan of the series, well you don’t need me to tell you to check out this book.

 

But I enjoyed Aftermath quite a bit, though within it Aguirre is attempting to wrap up several strands in Jax’s universe. In the last book Jax, March and crew took on military orders and faced down an invasion of the flesh-eating nasties of the universe, the Morgut. In the process she reprogrammed the entire system of markers inside grimspace which makes interstellar travel possible. Now her actions see her facing treason charges, arrested and waiting in prison for trial, trying to deal with the public and personal cost.

A lot happens in this book, and the pace is larger scale than the previous books. This is the first book in the series that doesn’t feel like a complete story of its own, but it does a necessary job of both wrapping up some plot threads and pushing Jax and company into new paths in life.

Aguirre proves that her Jax-universe has plenty more secrets, and that the character arc of Jax herself doesn’t include giving up all the wanderlust and charm that readers came to love for a happy ending. Aftermath is an enjoyable, vivid read. I recommend the whole series, especially for character-based science fiction fans (like those who enjoy Star Wars and Serenity).

Fate’s Edge by Ilona Andrews

The third book in Andrews’ rural-modern fantasy series is also the first to be a less satisfactory starting place for new readers. And again fans of the series already will find all the things they love about it here for their eager eyes.

In the Edge series there are three world settings, the Broken, where magic doesn’t work, the Weird, where magic developed instead of science and fantasy-style nobles and bluebloods rule, and finally the Edge, a space between the Broken and Weird that collects exiles, runaways and all manner of odd folk. Fate’s Edge focuses on Kaldar (also in the second book) a swamp rat swindler turned Special Agent for the Weird. His female lead is Audrey, a woman whose family used her magical talent for thievery only to betray her in favor of her addict, abusive brother.

There’s a lot more world-building and setting related material here than in the previous books. The past books and the Weird politics are far more essential to the story. Likewise, there’s a difficulty in a book where both leads are, by legal if not moral standards, bad guys (just not as bad as the evil, magical skewed, murdering Hand). There’s quite a few times where the romance element between Kaldar and Audrey is shoved to the background. The main plot, too, takes an unconventional path as the leads seem to get distracted with side plots rather than attacking the problem at hand directly (like the leads in the first 2 books did).

That said, I really enjoyed it. Andrews’ writing style is richly detailed, wonderfully expansive and unconventional. It’s action-y and engaging, an enjoyable read from page one. But this isn’t where new readers should start (you should start with On the Edge).

A Clockwork Vampire by K.H. Koehler

Koehler’s A Clockwork Vampire is part steampunk, part modern urban fantasy and part classic Agatha Christie-style mystery. This delicious blend of different is pure fun.

Eliza McGillicuddy is an inventor by trade and a wife by choice. Her husband is a vampire with a clockwork heart and a dark secret that’s about to knock on their door. He’s the Heir and Enforcer to one of the most reclusive and dangerous vampires in the world, a master who wants him to come back and solve a series of vampire murders. Eliza has a few secrets herself, none of which makes facing a centuries old vampire lord any easier.

Koehler’s world building is stellar, her characters charming and complicated and her story outrageous fun. A Clockwork Vampire has a lot to offer readers who both love, but are tired of genre tropes, or those looking to expand their interests. I highly recommend it to paranormal fans and can’t wait for the next book in the series.

December 7

The (sad) state of things

It’s time for another rant on publishing. First, please keep in mind I’m coming at this from a business perspective NOT a hobby one. I’m trying to make writing a career, not just see my name in print. There is nothing wrong with being a hobby-ist. But of course the approach varies if you’re trying to actually pay bills with your writing income.

It’s easy to tell there are a lot of assholes in publishing. I prefer to think of it at asshole moves and not color the people themselves that way, but sometimes it’s hard. And sometimes people don’t mean to be that way, and maybe to other people they aren’t. And other times it’s not that anyone meant to be a jerk, but they end up coming off as one anyway.

I’ve debated the issues in publishing tons, as a writer, as a reviewer and as a bookseller. Now, with over six months between Borders and myself I’ve found there isn’t a lot changing. I tried, without my store of choice, to maintain an in-the-actual-bookstore habit. Income issues aside I’ve gone out of my way a handful of times just to patron Barnes & Noble (23 minutes from me) and Books-a-Million (19 minutes from me). Every time I’ve walked in I’ve walked out disappointed. They have consistently NOT had the books I was looking for, books that were in a week of the release date, books their inventory system said they had but no one could find, books by bestselling genre authors. (To top it off BaM didn’t even have planners in stock, so I ended up picking one out at Half Price Books.)

I understand this is a flaw of the storefront model. I understand nothing is stopping me from ordering the books from their websites. Except that to get a deal price you have to pay to join a rewards club which combined with the consistent lack of the books I’m looking for always ends with me leaving the store feeling like I’m not important or cared about as a customer. When I’ve driven across the city to visit the store only to be told I can order it online and come pick it up in a week…no. I hated telling people that as a bookseller and it totally blows hearing it.

So I bought some other, general books instead, even though I don’t always have the income to do so, and then came home to make my Amazon order.

Geez, Amazon. Publishers, I DON’T WANT TO BUY FROM AMAZON. Especially knowing they do bullshit like give buyers $5 to go into a bookstore and use their app for price comparison then buy from Amazon instead. That’s just dirty.

But Amazon sent me the books I ordered in under a week. To my door. With no pressure to buy a club card. And yesterday in the mail I got a royalties check from the novellas I self published on Amazon. Meanwhile I’ve still not been paid for an anthology I was part of that came out last year.

And speaking of publishers (groan) I recently ran into (among other crap pay options) a call for stories in the 20-60k range that paid a grand total of $25.00 (until you sell 150 copies, then you get another $25). At least the press was totally upfront (unlike the places I’ve blocked on Facebook that have spammed me for non-paying anthos). But then so was the press that was looking for short stories and paying $.001 a word. That is not a typo.

So I did the calculations. Skullvines who published Rot gave me 50% of net. So for those first 150 copies compared to this other press, I made about $156. If I self published I’d make over $313. (The guidelines also state they charge “around $2.99” for their ebooks. That’s what I’m basing these numbers on.)

Now it’s absolutely true that going through an established press gives you access to other things, like better covers (usually), better editing (usually) and faith of consumers or even a pre-established fan base. Sometimes you even get in bookstores, which yeah, see my previous few paragraphs, but it does still make a difference. But what if you’re not going with an established press, but one that’s just opening? Or, maybe, one that seems to primarily be a press publishing the owner’s work?

Yeah. So you can go with that press, take your chances with the editing and cover work and get that $25 for your up to 60k novel. Or you can workshop the crap out of your story, get a piece of art from someone like Karen Koehler and make 12 times as much for those 150 books.

I don’t consider myself a self publishing advocate. But comparing the two options it’s a clear winner. Thank goodness these aren’t our only options.

I don’t think I’ve been in the game long enough to bemoan how things have changed, or the loss of the way things used to be. But I urge the authors out there to think, really educate yourself and go into any contract with an open mind. Is $25 or a thousandth of a cent per word really want your work is worth? If you don’t know then think about what sales of those projects might look like and wonder if that paltry readership is what your work is worth.

I mean, yeah, we all start somewhere. But a number of people start with sales to Apex or Asimov’s or Tor. It is now, and always has been about being published well. not just being published.

November 30

How to Get Your Kids to Read

Being a writer makes book culture hugely important to my life. A few days ago friends and I were talking about how it rubs off, and many people, including my partner and the friends I was talking with, find themselves reading more because of me. This makes me incredibly happy. Like, wiggle my ears if I could happy.

A lot, most even, of my “method” is really just talking about the books I read. Bad or good or meh. Encouraging people to talk about things that interest them encourages them to learn more about those things, which often means reading. I even have my partner, who tends to not like fiction much at all, reading the Dresden Files and Richard Matheson and Ray Bradbury.

Therefore getting kids (and the people around you in general) comes mostly from making books habit. This starts real young by reading to them and having a variety of reading materials available. Trips to the library and bookstore help too. Schools can help encourage reading a lot (especially if you are lucky enough to have a great school librarian), by creating a social culture where reading is a prized behavior.

But any study on reading will tell you that outside of school people stop reading. I believe that a lot of this is because there’s so much required reading and required interpretation/reporting on books that once out of school kids want a break. No harm, unless they don’t get that itch to pick one up again. So how do we do that?

The first obstacle is letting kids enjoy reading. This means make sure they have access to a large variety of books. From fiction and non, to specific genres or subjects like animals books or science fiction. But don’t forget about all the beautiful kinds of media out there. Comics and manga, ebooks and even audio books. Short stories, poems, plays. I try to have a little of everything, to encourage my kids to try the different kinds of books with me. Then I give them opportunities to pick out what they like.

Second, this August we started mandatory reading time. It began as a way to help Mini have more calm down time before bed (and thus get to sleep sooner) and help Mister, my son, who is autistic, be less intimidated with large blocks of text. Our format for reading time is; 8pm- Everyone at home reads to themselves (a book entirely of their choice), 8:30pm Get ready for bed (bed clothes, brush teeth, feed pets), 8:45pm- I read a book we all chose to the kids.

This has worked out very well. Very, very well. While there was some resistance at first (we started with 10 min self-read time then went up to 30 min.) in only a few weeks it became routine and I noticed a improvement in the kids’ willingness to read, their fluency (reading fluidly and less sounding out or stumbling over words) and their comprehension. (Comprehension is a huge thing for Mister who is very literal minded. He reads well, but can’t always translate words into images in his head.) It helped immensely that Jason and I were reading as well because suddenly reading alone became a social event. Other than dinner it’s the one time of day we all always hang out together. (And you can often find a way to cuddle too while reading.)

The third thing to do is the hardest. Make reading culture part of your everyday life. We do this in a whole bunch of ways. We talk about the books we read (what we liked, what we didn’t like, what happened in them). We look at cover art and talk about it. We go to bookstores as a group and explore. I signed my kids up for a GoodReads account and began encouraging them to keep track of, rate and review the books they read (they really love this, and it helps with comprehension!) And we have a challenge. For every ten books the kids read (on their grade/reading level, which for my kids means chapter books) I buy them a new book of their choice. We keep a chart on the wall where they write the titles of the books they read (and we count the books I read to them too, if they are about grade level.)

So far since June or so Mister and Mini have each read 20 books. They’re both at the top of their class in reading. That isn’t actually the goal though. Today Mister came home from school super upset. He’s still learning self-calming and stress-handling techniques. He wanted to read to help himself calm down. THAT is what this is all about.

So; make reading a family habit and part of your family’s social culture and make sure your kids have a wide variety of materials to read.

I want to add a note on special needs readers, too.
Many disabilities make reading a special kind of challenge. Mister, for example, always loved to be read to, but making the transition to him reading more than just his few favorite books has been difficult. We started with magazines about his favorite subjects. Lego Magazine, a video game magazine with an article on the best games of all time, and small articles about dogs. Then he moved onto picture-heavy chapter books, namely the Captain Underpants books. He still prefers these, but does read other chapter books as well.

Different disabilities raise different challenges, so it’s important to know exactly what challenges a child faces when s/he tries to read. I don’t mean the disability name or what it does, but things like “The book is too big”, “I lose interest after a few minutes” or “The words don’t make sense”. ADD/ADHD kids can sometimes do better with shorter reading times, short stories, or comics/manga. Dyslexic kids can be helped by supported reading (you reading with them, or ebooks with a text to read program) or audio books. The important thing is that it’s a positive thing, with little stress.

It’s possible you might never get your kids to love reading. It’s also possible that even reluctant readers commonly seek out online articles, game manuals and all kinds of reading material that they don’t think of a “reading”. How do you know unless you try?

If you have any tips on getting kids (or adults) to read, feel free to leave them in the comments.

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November 21

Mid Stream Check in

I didn’t commit to NANO, but I did make writing goals this month (well, for the rest of the year actually.) I just finished the first draft of the next Deepdale Acres book, Pleasure Horse. But it wasn’t without some setbacks.

November is always just a bad month for me. This last week I started my first full week at a new job, I hydroplaned twice on a highway ramp and ended up in a ditch (we think the car is okay & I’m okay), Mini was sick on Wednesday, and my son is sick tonight. This coming week I work 5 days, my son’s IEP and my yearly are happening and there’s Thanksgiving.

I thought 1k would be easier because if I’m relatively focused and I know where I’m going it only takes me about an hour to get 1k in. I’m resisting the urge to be really hard on myself for this last week. Instead I want to do better next. I’m halfway into Last Brother, Last Sister. Tomorrow between appointments and role playing I hope to outline the rest of the book. Then 1k a day until it’s done.

I’m working on my business plan (aka goals) for next year too, which is always a little fun. I can’t believe it’s almost December already.

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