Finding something to blog about

It’s hard finding something to blog about when you’re pretty much in head down, ass in seat, work mode. You don’t want to do nothing but complain. Can’t prattle on about the project you’re working on (ahem, you can see my progress on the sidebar. Tomorrow I hope to break 10K.) because it’s not sold, or polished yet. I don’t want to bring a lot of the negativity I’m feeling lately to others, but it seems dishonest pretend all is well.

Truth is while I do get work done, and am enjoying a bigger word count, lots of cuddle time with my family and a cleaner house, there are moments of sheer desperation and frustration. It used to be that to get a job you put in applications, talked to the hiring manager and had an interview. Now it seems that the hiring world at large has taken a cue from the publishing world in that you send your work (in the form of a resume, which is nothing more than a query letter where you’re pitching yourself instead of an individual project) and then sit around and wait for a response that probably never comes, seeing as everyone these days only dignifies you with a response when interested. I always hated that about publishing, because how hard is to email a “no thanks”?

But then that’s just my opinion on the silent end of this relationship. It used to be that you could find someone to see you face to face, you could make an impression on them. On the writing end of things you could make yourself feel better by reminding yourself that it was a project being rejected or ignored, not you personally.

There is no such solace in job hunting.

So yeah, it’s overwhelming that McDonald’s is hiring college grads these days, not just the people at entry level position and who can’t or don’t want to do better. And it’s overwhelming that even though I know I’m a good worker (and a good writer) it’s next to impossible to even get someone to consider you these days.

So usually I try to break up submitting, stories and applications with other things, like reading (which doesn’t always help when you end up wondering how the hell that got published), organizing more stuff, or napping.

Then , if you’re like me, you realize you’ve slept most of a week away, or can’t even talk about your frustrations with your partner anymore because they snap in frustration at your frustration. Or once again you’ve tried to keep a blog positive and the messy stuff has slipped through.

This is not the blog I intended it to be, but my career isn’t where I intended it to be either right now. Not either side of it.

When you know you’re doing everything right you expect a pay off. I mean, if you eat right you expect to feel better and see your pants size go down, at least a little. But if you know me you know that’s not how my body works, so why would my life function logically either?

But hey, I’m about to break 10k on a project I’ve been writing on about a week. I’ve got Mo*Con to look forward to in a few weeks (and having already been paid for I pretty much have to go and not feel bad for spending that money because I spent it before this all started.) My garden looks good, and it’s supposed to be rain free for a bit, so maybe I can get the second plot done.

Also, I have to say, there’s been a rather large number of you excited about this WIP, which, if you haven’t seen is a book-length sequel to Rot. That really really makes a gal feel fantastic.

So like I said, good and bad. Moments of enthusiasm and inspiration, moments of despair and depression, but most of the time I’m trying pretty hard to not feel much of anything and just keep plodding forward.

Hope the rest of you are holding steady too.