July 11

Haunted by Your Touch

ISBN: 1439166765

I received this book as an ARC.

Haunted by Your Touch is a collection of three stories from sizzling paranormal romance authors.

The first is Night’s Darkest Embrace by Jeaniene Frost. Set in a world of dimension jumping demons it’s rife with emotion, mainly of the tragic and vengeance kind. Mara is a quarter demon, strong enough to cross over to Nocturna, a wild west/Victorian era feeling dimension of demons. When she was a teen she and her cousin ran afoul of some Full Blood demons, who feed on Parials like herself. Since then she’s dedicated her life to finding her cousin’s killer.

The world is neat and intriguing except for the repeated reminder that even simple machines like watches don’t work in Nocturna, yet somehow guns do. The plot is certainly not terrible, but it depends on a misunderstanding that’s plain as day. Overall the story is interesting, vivid and clips along nicely, but the misunderstanding twist adds a sheen of cliché to it that’s disappointing.

Next up is Mated by Shayla Black, the weakest of the three (which isn’t saying much). This tale of wizards caught up in a dangerous battle against an evil wizard back from the dead who wants to take over the world features at least one powerful, headstrong lead, Raiden, an unabashed womanizer who discovers the home of the woman he knocked up has been attacked and the family is believed to be dead.

The emotion is sizzling in this tale, but it reads like an adult, sexed up version of Harry Potter (imagine Harry Potter meets True Blood). In addition Raiden is an utter jerk and his love Tabby mostly spends her time being rescued and hoping that Raiden will admit he loves her. Which leads to either an abusive feel (at worst), or a jerk of a hero and a weak heroine who can barely do a spell to save herself. While well written, and emotionally powerful I also found it disappointing.

Finally is Darkest Temptation by Sharie Kohler. This one is a complete score, hitting on the old wolfman legend by pitting a newly bitten woman, set up by a hunter to kill someone she thinks is the werewolf whose death can return her soul, with a nearly inhuman man who is neither werewolf or man, but something else.

This one I enjoyed a lot, both the tension between the characters and the doomed feel of Lilly’s life (even before she was bitten by a lycan). It’s only real flaw is that after a great start there’s a hiccup as it rushes to finish the story in a short form.

Despite some disappointment I’d give this book a solid three stars, because the writing is there, I think the stories just didn’t strike the right chord with this reader.

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June 17

Did you mean “vanished”?

It’s no secret that I’ve been incredibly stressed and emotional lately. I’d be an idiot to think I’ve kept is well contained and that it hasn’t slipped out on Twitter, Facebook and here. After all when the biggest outlet you have is ranting online, how can it not?

So I’m unhappy with a lot of things in my life, and I know that it’s up to me to fix it, because it’s my life and only I can figure out what I want. The problem comes next and I have to sit here and admit–I don’t know how to fix it.

I’m often amazed at how the internet has affected my life. The other day I was trying to identify insects in my garden to make sure they weren’t going to kill off my plants, so I goggled “garden pests Louisville Kentucky”. I was trying to research a company I had never heard of that cold called me to offer job training so I googled their name and “complaints”. When I can’t remember a term while writing half the time I just google “voodoo” to find it. And who doesn’t google a word to see if google corrects your spelling?

The truth is I feel lost. Not exactly, because I know where I want to be,  I know what I have to offer. I know I have skills that can put me where I want to be. But I don’t know how to get there. It like I’m alone in my car on a city street with money for an emergency, and a full tank of gas, but I left the GPS at home and the directions just flew out the window. Worse, I’ve stopped three time for directions and each time I’ve been given different directions.

It’s no wonder I get overwhelmed and frustrated and confused.

Part of it comes from expecting my issues to be fixed with one action. Put in an application, get and interview get the job. It seems simple, but it’s not. And there are tons of factors I can’t control or overcome in my way. And the pressure is still on, spiking with every bill that arrives and remembering how much easier life was with just a stupid, easy little part time job in the mix isn’t helping.

It’s hard to take off the coat of frustration and desperation and panic that accumulates on you. It’s hard to keep thinking “Well at least I get to spend the summer with the kids” when it’s followed with “Too bad we can’t do anything because I’m broke.”

And sometimes you wonder if you really are, broken I mean. Which is why I let the emotion slip through and vent. And I know it’s made me a rather bitter person to be around lately. But there’s a distinct lack of outlets in my real life. Maybe it’s because people are tired of hearing it (well, I’m tired of feeling it), maybe it’s because people are helpless to do anything more than listen and that makes them uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because they’re afraid I’ll jinx them. Maybe it’s just because most of my friends are very often busy living their own lives and we intersect only at brief points in time.

I’m trying to make the best of things as I can. I’m trying to pursue gainful (steady) employment and not to let my woe and wangst spill out to the world around me. And I’m sucking at it apparently. But I’m going to keep trying and try to put out more positive than negative.

Because I hope, in my heart, that I’m not really lost, I’m just on an unplanned epic adventure in life.

June 4

Writing and the Economy

I do this thing where I compare other things with writing. I do it, sometimes a lot, and often the people around me (who rarely are writers) scoff like I’m just trying to be included in the conversation. But I’m not. And I’ve mentioned a lot how job hunting and the economy in general has begun to look a lot like the publishing world.

Of course you work to polish your resume, polishing your job history to look as good as possible. Don’t lie, but that job chasing kids becomes training in childcare, the job cleaning stalls at the local barn becomes skills in barn management and ringing three hours straight through a liquidation sale becomes “fast paced cashier and customer service skills”.

Now you go hunting for something that might, maybe, a little bit at least, fit. You can see, at least, how the skills used in shelving books could be used in office filing. So you fill out an application or submit a resume.

And that cashier is money handling is bank telling, so you apply there too.

Sort of like Market A published a story about steampunk vampires, so maybe they’ll love your historical urban fantasy about shape shifters. And Market B says they like anything in the realm of SF/F/H, so you submit.

I mean, apply.

And you wait. And you hear nothing. Or maybe you get a confirmation that your submission application has been received. And you wait. And maybe you get past the first round, that is, you get an interview. And maybe you get a rejection notice. Usually though, you hear nothing.

I take that back, the markets I’ve submitted stories too have replied and with comments far more than any of the places I’ve applied to.

So you get discouraged because you know your work, fiction or in the flesh, is good, and worthy (I mean, you’ve held other jobs, and successfully, so you can’t be a complete loser, can you?) There’s just TOO MUCH out there, since everyone with a computer is looking to get published these days.

It is really really rough. Even when you consider that 90%+ of stories out there are crap (and likely as many people aren’t suitable for or even interested in the job their applying for, then of course you immediately wonder if you’re just delusional in thinking you aren’t in that 90%). But then you rally yourself back because despite the odds you have credits to your name, and you have really positive comments back from people who like your work, or your presence and they encourage you.

And a lot of these jobs don’t really have hard requirements. GED or better, preferred cash handling experience. willingness to learn. (The “real job” equivalent of good grammar, following submission guidelines and clean copy.)

But there are so many people looking for jobs and so few jobs available. And why would an editor buy your story, even if they like it, when they could buy one from a Hugo-nominee, or someone with more credits and name recognition than you? Yeah, content is king, and the story absolutely matters more than name or anything, but its also pretty much safe to assume that those better sellers, more established writers than you also have more job experience going for them. They get rejected too…but when you have about 7 months “traditional” job experience in the last 10 years and someone working on their PhD is competing with you for a job at Staples…

So you lose out, and you know you can’t afford the cost of going to school. And no one seems willing to step up and give you that chance to actually get more job experience because you don’t have as much job experience as the people (stories) you’re up against (though you’re passionate and determined and a fast learner)…

But there are always places to apply (there are always places to submit), and you have more stories so you can try the same market over again (places only keep apps on hand for 30 or 60 days so you can reapply after that, and hopefully have more luck next time). Plus, everyone one knows what you call a stubborn writer who never gives up: Published.

But sometimes you just can’t stomach the thought of any more, because you find yourself on that edge of determined called disillusioned. And you’re looking down into depressed. But you know depressed leads to desperate which leads to outright stupid (um, like that “adult video chatter” job) and “cloud of misery that infects everyone around you”.

And you’d rather be unemployed (and unpublished) than that.

So you back off, let it go, remind yourself that it’s quarter after three in the morning and yes, the job hunt search engines (filled with work at home scams, calls for Avon reps, and the occasional “real” job) will be there in the morning when you will feel better because you won’t be bleary-eyed from exhaustion and might not misspell your own name (oh, wait, that one’s happened in story submissions too.)

Everyone tells you to stay determined and it’ll happen. You even know that’s true (because it’s how you found your last job, right? Admit it, you worried that your last acceptance would be, in fact, your last.) But it’s just hard to see that from where you are.

And like submitting stories, every time I think I have a chance, I think I have the skills needed or else I wouldn’t be wasting the editor’s manager’s time by submitting. And I even start thinking “You know, I probably would like working there…” then I feel that much stupider when no one calls back.

But there’s only one major problem with this analogy. In the publishing world it’s not personal, it’s your story that’s being evaluated. On the job market it really is you they’re not calling back.

So to all those other people out there hunting for a job. You can’t give up. It’s one part hard work, one part skill and one part blind luck. And you know what they call a writer who never gives up? Employed.

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May 5

Gaming Meme Day 2 – Your favorite character

Hmm, that’s a hard one. Sonya is the one who really started it all. She was my first PC LARP character. She was a Toreador, who never really turned anarch or antitribu, but occasionally tipped off the other side when someone pissed her off. Eventually she became the Prince’s right hand woman mainly because she developed a habit of leaving right before the really nasty stuff went down. (I mean, even when she was banned from the city it turned out to be right before a huge war.)

I also have a soft spot for Lily, a teleporter & healer who I played in one of Jason’s Marvel games. (That’s also the game where Jason used IHF, my heavily researched and not-entirely-made-up disease from my Bloodwalker stories because he liked it so much. Always flattering when someone is inspired by your ideas.)

Of course I adored my Sun Elf fighter from the D&D game that just ended. And the Eladrin archer with a bear side kick from my friend Steve’s D&D 4.0 game.

I guess when it comes to RPGs I don’t so much have favorites as not favorites. The ones I love the best are from the longer running games, and ones that either came in on a pre-established concept with other people, or quickly became and important part of a group.

As for video games, that’s easier. It’s a solid tie between Rincewind and Death in the Terry Pratchett Discworld video games.

And this had us rolling the first time we saw it.

Full Meme List

Day 1 – Your first videogame
Day 2 – Your favorite character
Day 3 – A game that is underrated
Day 4 – Your guilty pleasure game
Day 5 – Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were)
Day 6 – Most annoying character
Day 7 – Favorite game couple
Day 8 – Best soundtrack
Day 9 – Saddest game scene
Day 10 – Best gameplay
Day 11 – Gaming system of choice
Day 12 – A game everyone should play
Day 13 – A game you’ve played more than five times
Day 14 – Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper
Day 15 – Post a screenshot from the game you’re playing right now
Day 16 – Game with the best cut scenes
Day 17 – Favorite antagonist
Day 18 – Favorite protagonist
Day 19 – Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in
Day 20 – Favorite genre
Day 21 – Game with the best story
Day 22 – A game sequel which disappointed you
Day 23 – Game you think had the best graphics or art style
Day 24 – Favorite classic game
Day 25 – A game you plan on playing
Day 26 – Best voice acting
Day 27 – Most epic scene ever
Day 28 – Favorite game developer
Day 29 – A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving
Day 30 – Your favorite game of all time

Category: Personal | Comments Off on Gaming Meme Day 2 – Your favorite character
May 4

30 Day Memes: Gaming!

A lot of my friends on Facebook are doing the 30 Songs in 30 Days Meme. I’ve been debating it but then I found this one: 30 Days of Gaming. Oh yeah! (Of course it seems to focus on video games, where as I, am not going to.)

Day 1: Your First Video Game

My first video game was Facemaker, Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day and Summer Games all on the Commodore 64. For those who don’t know/remember it was essentially a keyboard that you plugged into your TV with game cartridges that slid into the keyboard. (Holy hell, I Wikied it and they rereleased the Commodore 64 last month. The new version looks the same, but had 4GB Memory and 1TB hard drive, among other goodies.)

Anyway, Facemaker (screenshot to the side) was pretty much a programming test where you built a silly face then programed it to do things. It was like the caveman version of The Sims.

It got boring pretty fast, but this being 82-84 or so I was all of 5, so when other things got too hard simple was good.

The Winnie the Pooh game was my favorite. It came with a map! You had to roam around the 100 Acre Wood, looking for objects that belonged to the Pooh cast that got blown away in a big wind and return it. Ten items to be returned and you win! (Hehe, video below.)

So seriously it was the first puzzle/problem solving game I fell for. And did I mention it came with a map?

Summer Games was harder for little Michele, but sometimes the other two got boring, so I played. I liked the pole vault and diving games best.

Oh, I have to stop myself from going on a complete tangent here and just blabbering about my computer-using history. (I always loved computers.)

As for the other kind of gaming my very very first game was table top Vampire the Masquerade/Werewolf the Apocalypse circa 1995/96. The game only lasted one session, but I was completely hooked. It was almost three years before I found another game that wasn’t filled with asshats who lied about when games were or outright told me I wasn’t invited despite them being run in my own basement. And that was the LARP where I met Jason. So, yeah, gaming, pretty important to me, even if I don’t keep up with the latest and greatest.

Full Meme List

Day 1 – Your first videogame
Day 2 – Your favorite character
Day 3 – A game that is underrated
Day 4 – Your guilty pleasure game
Day 5 – Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were)
Day 6 – Most annoying character
Day 7 – Favorite game couple
Day 8 – Best soundtrack
Day 9 – Saddest game scene
Day 10 – Best gameplay
Day 11 – Gaming system of choice
Day 12 – A game everyone should play
Day 13 – A game you’ve played more than five times
Day 14 – Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper
Day 15 – Post a screenshot from the game you’re playing right now
Day 16 – Game with the best cut scenes
Day 17 – Favorite antagonist
Day 18 – Favorite protagonist
Day 19 – Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in
Day 20 – Favorite genre
Day 21 – Game with the best story
Day 22 – A game sequel which disappointed you
Day 23 – Game you think had the best graphics or art style
Day 24 – Favorite classic game
Day 25 – A game you plan on playing
Day 26 – Best voice acting
Day 27 – Most epic scene ever
Day 28 – Favorite game developer
Day 29 – A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving
Day 30 – Your favorite game of all time

Category: Personal | Comments Off on 30 Day Memes: Gaming!