When I started out I jokingly called myself The Other Michele Lee, and even ended up making that my “writer” name for certain networking sites, my email and other odds and ends. I’m not That Michele Lee, after all. I’m the author Michele Lee.

I’m not this Michele Lee either, though her art is amazing and I adore it.

Turns out that I’m not THIS Michele Lee either. But it might explain why Gutters (a comic culture commentary site) thinks I’m this Michele Lee:

Maybe someday, though, I’ll be the Michele Lee who started the Legion of Michele Lees, because damn are we a talented bunch.

From my WIP “Sometimes/Often/Always”:

It’s easy to forger that not all abuse is physical. The black eye, the bruised ear, the split lip, even when legitimately come across; it raises the eyebrows and people, remembering crime scene photos of the victims, can’t help but wonder.

But where are the bruises that words leave? Where are the cuts left when a family member threatens to shoot you? Where are the breaks and split skin from systematically undermining your value as a human—for years?

We don’t literally wear our hearts on our sleeves so the world can see how scarred our pasts have left us. Sometimes, often, I wish all damage translated to the physical. That each word corresponded to a blow so that we could look and not deny the damage we do to each other.

Screaming should split ears. Threat of violence should beget violence. Insults should lacerate skin.

Not just so those who hurt see their rage in ribbons of blood on other people. But also so that we can stand at a mirror, probing battered flesh, and know for sure when we are victims. For healing can never begin as long as we keep lying to ourselves.

I leave that last part out, but the rest of the words spill out and tumble like dangerous puppies at the woman sitting behind the desk in a cheerfully lit, sparse little office so unlike a psychiatrist’s. I have a lot of practice talking about my past, my childhood, teen and young adult years. The present is far more dangerous. I’m more attached to my present.

YAYYY!!

Scott is a fellow Skullvines Author. His novella, Barbed Wire Kisses, is a serial killer/western tale and is available here.

A few weeks ago Brian Keene posted on Twitter that he’d written 40,000 words in a day. He followed that up on his blog with a bit more detail, where he revealed the total word count for Friday-Sunday was approximately 85,000 words. Once I picked my jaw up from the floor, ceased weeping and gnashing my teeth, I developed word envy.

While not the first time I suffered from this disease, it was certainly the most acute. My novella “Barbed Wire Kisses” is about 37,000 words and it took me almost 6 months to finish a first draft, and another 6 months of rewrites and edits before I sent it to my publisher. During the writing process, I would even post a daily word count on Facebook and Twitter, as I had seen other writers do.

Then, I started really paying attention to what other writers were putting out and I felt, not lazy really, but inadequate. If so and so is writing X amount of words a day why can’t I do that? What’s wrong with me? Many of the writers I follow on various social networks are far more prolific than I am.

Since I started writing seriously again about 5 years ago, I’ve managed a novella, a poem and a short story. The novella and poem were published, and I never sent the short story as I was content to just put it up on my blog. So I guess I could say I have a 100% success rate in terms of getting published (to spin it on the positive side) but I still have word envy from time to time.

It’s gotten better as time marches on, and I’ve come to the following conclusion (no matter how obvious this may be to someone else, it wasn’t to me until I read Brian’s post): we all have different ways of doing things. Some go to the gym every day, some a few days a month and others, none at all. Is one any more or less dedicated by the time spent working out? No, I don’t think so.

If I write 1000 words a day, and someone else 4000, does that make me any less dedicated to my craft? Again, no, I don’t think so. It’s about knowing what works best for me, what the best schedule is, for maximum results. I wrote the last 3500 words of “Barbed Wire Kisses” in one day, and that is the one section I spent the most time rewriting. What good is it to write past my limit (both physically and mentally), when I have to spend more time rewriting and editing? I’m not putting my time or energy to good use.

In the end, it’s not about the word count, it’s about making the words I do put down on paper count. Knowing what works best for you, and not trying to top or compete with others, not only makes us better writers, it also makes us better people.