September 24

Dear DC Comics,

*Just a note. Thanks for the link to Felica Day and io9.com and everyone else. I’m stunned by the response. Also I’m approving comments as I can and will approve any comment that isn’t spam or hateful.threatening or outright insulting of myself, my daughter or any commentor here. I adhere to the John Scalzi commenting policy. Please feel free to disagree with our opinion, because that’s what reader feedback is all about. And thanks!

 

I’m not going to rant like Comics Alliance (though you need to read it), or this one by Andrew Wheeler (also an excellent read), Ms. Snarky says it really well too (Go, read, DC editors. Take notes.)

Instead I’m going to hand over my forum and let someone else speak for me. Pay attention, DC. This is my 7 year old daughter.

And for good measure this is my 7 year old daughter as she falls asleep most nights, reading.

They’re both your books, DC. And furthermore she bought them both with HER money. Her allowance, her birthday and Christmas money. She gets at least one graphic novel and one book for major holidays. She buys superhero movies (we’ve managed to see all the major releases this year except Green Lantern and she’s loved them all.) She has a full-sized cardboard cut out of Spiderman guarding her bookshelf.

Most importantly? Starfire is her favorite hero.

So today I showed her your rebooted Catwoman and Starfire. She is not happy with you DC.

“Why do you like Starfire?”

“She’s like me. She’s an alien new to the planet and maybe she doesn’t always say the right thing, or know the right thing to do. But she’s a good friend, and she helps people. She’s strong enough to fight the bad guys, even when they hurt her. Even her sister tried to kill her, but Starfire still fights for the good side. And she helps the other heroes, like Superboy and Robin and Raven.

“She’s smart too. And sometimes she gets mad, but that’s okay because it’s okay to get mad when people are being mean. And she’s pretty.”

“What do you think about her costume?” (Referring to the outfit on the right)

“Well, she’s a grown up in that picture, not like in the Teen Titans cartoon, so if you’re a grown up and you want to wear something like that you can. It’s okay.”

“Tell me about that Starfire.”

“That’s where she’s starting the Teen Titans again. She’s helping the kids learn how to use their power and not be as sad because their friends died. She even protects them from grownups who want to tell them what to do.”

“Does that outfit make her pretty?”

“Well, no. It shows lots of her boobs though.”

“What does make her pretty?”

“Her long, pretty hair.”

“What about this Starfire? What do you think about her?” (Referring to image on the left from DC’s reboot Red Hood and the Outsiders)

“I can see almost all of her boobs.”

“And?”

“Well she is on the beach in her bikini. But…”

“But?”

“But, she’s not relaxing or swimming. She’s just posing a lot.” *my daughter appears uncomfortable*

“Anything else?”

“Well, she’s not fighting anyone. And not talking to anyone really. She’s just almost naked and posing.”

“Do you think this Starfire is a good hero?”

“Not really.”

“Do you think the Starfire from the Teen Titans cartoon is a good role model?”

*immediately* “Oh yes. She’s a great role model. She tells people they can be good friends and super powerful and fight for good.”

“Do you think the Starfire in the Teen Titans comic book is a good role model?”

“Yes, too. She’s still a good guy. Pretty, but she’s helping others all the time and saving people.”

“What about this new Starfire?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s not doing anything.”

“Is this new Starfire someone you’d want to be when you grow up?”

*she gets uncomfortable again*”Not really. I mean, grown ups can wear what they want, but…she’s not doing anything but wearing a tiny bikini to get attention.”

“So, you know I’m going to put this on my blog right? (she nods) Is there anything else you want to say?”

“I want her to be a hero, fighting things and be strong and helping people.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because she’s what inspires me to be good.”

See, it’s not about what they’re wearing, though that can influence things. What makes a hero is WHO they are, the choices they make and the things they do. If my 7 year old can tell what you’ve done from looking at the pictures (there is no way I’m going to let her in on the whole emotionless random, amnesiac sex plot line) why can’t you see the problem here?

If this is your attempt at being edgy and reaching out the huge female comic audience out here then I look forward to when this crap collapses around you so someone who gets it can take your place. We’re looking for good stories and great heroes. This just isn’t it.

May 1

Vampires & Zombies: A Zombie Book by Rose Lee

Rose Lee is a precocious five year old who likes playing Monster Rancher almost as much as she likes her Mom. She thinks ghosts and vampires and zombies are scary, “but only a little bit”. Vampires & Zombies is her first sale. (Editor’s Note: Yes, in the spirit of publishing I paid her for it.)

* * *

A zombie came into the room, but he was a good zombie. Then a scary bad zombie came in.

“Jackass!” he said.

The scary zombie went over to AnneMarie and started poking her in the head with a pencil.

AnneMarie got poked in the head by a pencil and a bad zombie. She screamed.

The vampire was in his blood bath and heard her scream. He jumped out of the bath and went and rescued her.

He had a real sharp pencil and poked the bad zombie into the ear, and it came out the other ear and it hurt real bad. The bad scary zombie fell to the ground and was dead. And they covered him to the death.

AnneMarie was so glad that she said, “Thank you!”

He said, ” You’re welcome.”

AnneMarie gave the vampire a hug.

Then AnneMarie went over to the vampire’s house and they took a blood bath together. They blew lots of blood bubbles. A really big one popped over them and it was like raining blood.

The End

March 31

Autism & Me: My Son’s a Crasher

Think about that word for a moment. Crasher.

Those on the spectrum often have sensory issues. Some are oversensitive. (Actually, my son is oversensitive to loud sounds. The sensory stimulation of a movie theater, for example everything is dark except the hyper focus of the movie, which is larger than life, and sound, loud sound, is all around, vibrating the seats and the skin, can actually shut him down, like when a baby falls asleep from too much stimulation. This is why he often moves around while we’re watching a movie, going from lap to lap, or floor to lap.) Some are undersensitive, which can lead to some annoying or even dangerous behavior.

My son is a crasher, which means he’s undersensitive when it comes deep tissue stimulation. It means exactly what it sounds like, he “crashes”. Bouncing is a very common behavior. Hugs or squeezes often help him calm down and focus (which he can do by himself with the use of stress balls, playdough or those waterfilled donuts and tubes you can find in toy aisles).

But there are days (like today, which is last Thursday to you) when none of this seems to be enough. Days like today he walks down the hall slamming into the walls. Or he repeatedly flops onto the bed as hard as possible.

Over the years he’s become very good at knowing how hard to “crash” against what. But that doesn’t make it less alarming to people who don’t know, or, to be honest, less annoying on the days when it gets real bad. In the past, people have suggested that he was actually self punishing, or wounding himself with this behavior.

It could be worse (let the them “anal exploration” sink in for a moment.) But it is one of the larger challenges we’ve had to face over the last eight years.

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February 3

My Suicidal House, Let me tell you about it.

Our house was built in 1900. I adore it, really I do. Yes, it needs some work, some are big things, like a new roof and siding. Most are pretty minor, like tile replacement, new paint, new carpet, drippy faucets. The realator didn’t think this house was livable. We have different ideas of what is livable. I love my house. I loved it from the moment I saw it. I loved it from the moment it was ours.

But it’s trying to kill itself.

And it has help.

Let’s start with the toilet incident. The upstairs toilet was running all the time. A simple check revealed that the rubber part that plugged the channel between the tank and the bowl (I believe it’s called a flapper) was horribly cracked and not creating a seal at all. This should be an easy thing to replace. You turn off the water to the toilet, drain it,  disconnect the old flushing mechanism, install the new one (it even comes assembled), turn the water back on, wa-la. About a $12 repair job and about as simple as it gets. One thing to screw in, one thing to hook. Did you see the “should” up there?

We could not get the old part off. Not at all. the all plastic and rubber piece would not move for anything. We even tried busting it out. Nope. Took the tank off, the mechanism was SUPER GLUED to the tank. Immediately a $12 repair job became at least a $50 job because now we have replace the tank. We’ve opted to leave the damn thing off, since we barely use it anyway (that bathroom has no door, so it’s not exactly great to use), and just move the downstairs toilet upstairs when we remodel downstairs.

I made three sets of goals for 2009; Health/Body Goals, Writing Goals and House Goals. I’m tired of the little things not getting done because we forget or get distracted by the big things that need to be done and miss the little ones that we can “easily” do. So every month I want to do at least one thing to better our living environment.

For January I got weatherizing materials to try to make our house more efficient. I was psyched man. Totally worked up and ready to get my house in shape. The foam stripping stuck to everything but the door, even though I didn’t put it any place where we rub or brush and I told the kids hands off. But by the next night it was sticking to the cat, our shoes, our jackets, the walls the floor… And it’s stuck fine in other places, where the kids are more often and where we rub against or have contact will more often. But the specific place that I bought the foam for? Not there.

The plastic thingie I bought to slide under the back door to block air and to divert the rain water (from the gutter the wind storm took down) away for the door instead of under it? Well it turns out the damn door is set crooked so with the plastic thing on the corner by the hinge fits, but the corner by the handle (er, where the handle should be) won’t close.

And the plastic strip I bought for the front door? Well it turns out there’s a metal strip already there, nailed into the door, but between the nails it’s warped and bent and pulled away, sending eddies of wind right up into the house. So I ended up, in a fit of stubborness, super gluing it along the side of the door where I put the foam at first. Why did I super glue it (especially after the toilet incident)? Because the really sticky stuff on it just would not stick for anything to the door.

And the gaps in the metal guard at the bottom? All I can say is I really like rope calk.

The only thing that went right was the foam pieces we bought to put behind the outlets and switches. Of course I’ve only managed to put those in two rooms so far.

This month we decided to replace the bathtub faucet because it was leaking. We were changing washers every month or so. We got a kit and decided to replace the whole thing, the hardware in the wall, the spout, stems, handles everything. We are not complete idiots but this job has seriously made us feel like it.

To begin with we didn’t have all the right parts. So yesterday we took the old parts off (and er, had to use the hammer to do so because there was some corrosion at joints). We didn’t have the right parts so despite spending half the day doing plumbing work (and the other half getting the kit, having lunch and getting birthday presents for the Girl) all we got out of it was not being able to take showers or anything because there are no turn off valves that go to the tub and we had to turn off the whole house water. So we couldn’t turn it back on because  there was nothing stopping the water from spraying out of those pipes and we couldn’t even hook up the new hardware we bought.

Feeling nasty today we went and got the adaptors we needed. Awesome, totally ready to kick this house’s butt. You’ll never understand this next part. It makes NO sense at all… We have to remove a pair of old nut and ring sets on the pipes to put new ones on. Only they won’t come off…beause the guy who lived here before us (the one who superglued the toilet part in) saudered the nut and ring on.

We did get the parts on today, and they are the right parts, they they’d look a lot prettier if the rest of the house around it wasn’t a mess (let’s not even get into the laundry area, which we have to crouh in to do all this work, whih suffered a flood at some point and the previous owner just put a couple layers of plywood on top of it instead of replacing it, so now it the floor splinters in places when you step on it). You know, like the big piece of wood in the wall, with nails sticking out of it, that’s sole purpose seems to be getting in the way of reaching the pipes to the tub. Or that we dropped the small wrench I bought just for this job under the house and only that area of the house is enclosed by a brick wall in the crawl space.

Anyway, all the pieces on… didn’t seal right so when we turned on the house water the new hardware started leaking. So yeah, new stuff, but between the hot and cold pipes the leak is worse than it was before we changed the parts, and the hot water is leaking which will make our heating bill skyrocket.

The good news is that this leaking can probably be solved by disconnecting the parts, adding an extra layer of plumbing tape and tightening it back on better so that it seals better. I say probably because in any other house that would fix it. But this is our house, so…

So today we turned the house water on long enough to fill water bottles and pet water dishes, and to bathe, then lived without water for the rest of the day.

Modern plumbing, you may not need it as often as you need power, but you really mourn it when it’s gone.

Please, please, just let it seal better this time beause I’m really tired and want a long hot shower with my shiny new faucet (in a tub that’s probably older than me *sigh*).

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